A HEARTY THANKS

I feel like I say this every year, but this year feels especially fast. Maybe it's just the second half of the year that has been so incredibly...unique, or it could just be that time passes faster the older you become. I mean, not that it really matters anyway.

But since this year has been totally out of the norm, it's shaped me in ways I didn't know I could move. It's stretched me and grown me and pulled me in different directions. It's made me more confident in some areas and also shattered other parts of me beyond recognition. And I guess that's what happens when you go out into the world and try to be a functioning adult. Limits get tested, patience is worn thin, grace and humility become your best friends and you are forced to figure shit out. Welcome to adulthood.

As weird as it sounds though, it's actually something I really enjoy. This year I lost a job in the stupidest way possible and had all sorts of negative things spread about me (I can only assume, based on the situation, as it was not peaceful) which was a complete and utter first in the Natalie department. But through that situation I came out with a different and better sense of self.

As an artist, I started designing fabrics and have even sold some to people who are not my family - which is, as they say, the mark of success. As a girlfriend, I got to understand just how much Nathan loves me through all the stress that we've dealt with the past few months. As a daughter, I have witnessed just how much my parents care about me and my wellbeing and how readily they will sacrifice for me when I need them to. As an employee, I have learned that it's not the amount of money you make, it's the experience you get doing it. Which could also be in the art category too, you know, starving artist and all.

So as we've just finished Thanksgiving and are about to head into the Christmas season, I have been filled with a spirit of thanksgiving. Or at least I want to be filled with a spirit of thanksgiving but sometimes I am filled with a spirit of hunger and crankiness - I am only human after all.

But I'm thankful for quite a few things this year, including but not limited to: my family, who keep surprising me in all the best ways; all my friends, who are supporting me in all my artistic endeavors or who listen to me rant about things without judgment, (you guys are amazing!); my oma, who has supported me and offered a lot of advice and who has been my biggest cheerleader when it comes to designing fabrics and creating art; and Nathan, who is so much more to me than a boyfriend and even when I'm crabby and impossible, for whatever reason, he still loves me and surprises me with little things all the time. I couldn't have asked for anyone better to have by my side.

And as we head into the land of greens and reds and jingly bells, while you are all taking the time to make a unique gift or thoughtfully pick one out at a store, remember who it is you're buying for and why you are so thankful for them.

Christmas tends to make me really grinchy and irritated with all the people in all the stores buying all the things and paying absolutely no mind to the world around them. Sometimes I get so annoyed feeling like I'm the only one paying attention to my surroundings, that I lose track of the fact that these are humans too. And they are somebody's mom, grandma, dad, sister, brother, aunt or uncle. And they deserve to be treated like a human being too.

So goosfraba this holiday season, my friends. And a Happy Christmas to you!

REFLECTION

As the year starts drawing to a close, I seem to always get more reflective and thankful about life. The serenity of a snow laden landscape, the sun setting behind the rolling hills of the Palouse on a long drive home, and the calmness of the music playing softly through my car's stereo speakers all come together in such a perfect way, indescribable with words. It makes me all sorts of nostalgic.

I was remembering my life for this past year and what a crazy roller coaster it's been. It's funny to me, that as you go through life you often forget what life was like a month ago. A year ago. Three years ago. Who were you then? What were you doing? Who was important? Where did you live?

And holy buckets you guys, I have come so far. When I started this blog* I was a freshman in college. I was just a little baby, embarking on the adventure of my life with no idea of the obstacles I would face or the path I would choose. I was wide eyed and innocent, not even eighteen years old. Now here I am, twenty-three and graduated with a full time teaching position.

Sometimes I wish I could go back and do it all over. But then I think about all the papers I had to write and projects I completed, paperwork I filled out, and I'm glad I'm on the other side of all that. We tend to glorify the past, only remembering the good parts and forgetting the painful ones. College was such a fun time in my life, for the most part. But there was a lot of crap I went through too, and college hurt a lot. It forced me to grow, it helped shape my journey.

College was full of life lessons to learn. It was full of relationships, with boys and girls who were older and younger than me. I had to navigate situations I'd never been through before. I had to learn who to trust and when to let go. My time at the university taught me so much more than just academics, it taught me life. And for that, I am thankful.

There is a lot in my life, actually, that I am thankful for this year. Because it's November, a lot of my friends and family are posting everyday the different things that make them grateful. I haven't been doing that, and I'm not sure why. But here are some things that I'm thankful for everyday:

My family. Without their support I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing today. I know that we don't always see eye to eye on everything, but I do know that they will love me no matter what.

My friends. There are people on this planet who aren't related to me and yet will still always be around. That is comforting beyond words, especially for a quiet little introvert like me.

My boyfriend. That boy does not know how special he is to me on so many levels.

My pup. I love that little Lottie dog more than I know how to express. She's just the cutest.

My job. This is the toughest thing I've ever gone through and some days I really feel like walking away but I know that this is where I'm supposed to be. At least for the moment. And plus, my coworkers and students are generally pretty awesome. This school is a great environment to be in everyday.

The weekends. I love those precious days in between work weeks. Especially when I get to share them with Nathan. It just doesn't feel like the weekend when we're not together.

My life. This adventure that I'm on is beautiful. Everyday I get to make new memories in this unique journey that God has blessed me with. I can't remember a time when everything was easy, but all the pieces fit together to make this beautiful picture. I don't get to see the whole thing just yet, but even the ugly parts of life are used to make the whole thing pretty darn rad.

Happy November, guys.

(ps here's a poem that i wrote a couple years ago. i just found it in my archives. it's a gem)

*i just realized that yesterday was the five year anniversary of my little blog! high five!

independence day

This is the first year in all of my years of living in North Idaho that I remember partying downtown to watch the fireworks. Nathan came up from Moscow and Mimi and Daniel tagged along with us to fight off the masses for a good spot to watch the show.

The Fourth is one of those holidays that just sneaks up on me. Well, honestly, it feels like everything this year has caught me by surprise. Is it just me, or does time pass quicker the older your are? That is the lamest. But such as it is, this year was a good celebration.

Usually we buy a ridiculously small amount of fireworks from a booth and have a little powwow in the front yard followed by an hour of sitting on the back deck watching the neighbors' illegals and the city shows on the lakes nearby. But this year, we walked on the boardwalk, shared a Gooey at Dockside, and crowded ourselves together on the steps at Independence Point by the resort to watch the sky light up. The booms of the fireworks were so loud that we could feel them burst. But man, being right on the water was probably the coolest.

Never mind the fact that once it was all over it took us eight million lightyears to crawl our way out of the parking lot. Hashtag i hate crowds.

(PS am I the only person that always wants never mind to be one word? I feel like it should be one word.)

We are so blessed to live in a country with so many freedoms. We are so blessed to be in Idaho. To have cars. To have beds. To be able to sit on the beach with half the city and enjoy the bright lights of the firework explosions. We have been given so much, and it is such a privilege to experience life in a beautiful country. Happy Independence Day!

And now, the fireworks from the perspective of my iPhone. You're welcome.

a shout out

Oh my gosh, where do I start?

I guess I could start with the first day that we met. It was a bleary January day, overcast and gray. I was sitting at a large table in the front of the classroom of my elementary art methods class with two guys who were high school art ed majors like myself and three slightly obnoxious sorority elementary ed majors. We were an...interesting group, to say the least.

Joel was hilarious and witty - which is something that I admire in other people and strive for in myself. Once, when our class went on a field trip to a bunch of different galleries around town I just palled around with him and the other high school art ed major, Mark. I don't think I did a lot of talking, but I thought the two of them were stinking funny. If memory serves me correctly, we all exchanged numbers at the end of that class period for strategic group project purposes and pairing myself up with them was a really smart decision on my part.

Talking about our shared interest in art and spending time working together on projects, Joel and I also discovered that we shared the same faith in an awesome and mighty God. I don't think it was until SVI and I split up tho that Joel and I really took our friendship a step farther. And by that I mean he dragged me to church with him and his incredibly awesome family and forced me to help him paint a mural. We spent a few late nights in front of a bright white brick wall that we were slowly transforming into a work of art confiding in each other our struggles and our triumphs.

Once I fully involved with the initial steps of helping to plant a church alongside Joel and all the new friends I made there, the adventures just kept coming. I took a step of faith and offered my services as the children's leader which was a new and exciting experience. I spent a lot of time painting, decorating, discussing curriculum, planking, dancing and eating delicious food.

Joel has turned in to one of my very best friends and no matter how hard I try to keep this post funny it always takes a turn for the serious. Which I think is a good representation of the relationship that I have with Joel. He's basically a comedic genius in my opinion, but then he's also chalk full of good Godly advice just when I need it most. It's hard to believe that this time last year we were both living in Moscow finishing up school and now we're both graduated and trying to move on to bigger and better things.

Some friends that you make in college are your school friends and once you leave town you all kind of move on to different things. Other friends you make in college will undoubtedly last for the rest of your life, and I believe that Joel and Mandy and their cute kids are going to be part of my life for years and years and years to come. They are the greatest. So there you go, a shout out to a really good friend.

Thanks for caring and for calling and for being there for me every step of the way. You have no idea just how important you guys are to me and how much I love you. There aren't good enough words in all the world to correctly express how grateful I am to have met you and spent time with you. And I can't wait until spring break when I finally get to come hang out with you all! 

turkey season

For the last four years my Thanksgiving break was a week long, but previous to that it was around four days. Since I'm back to public school break schedule, I no longer get a week off. It was a little disappointing, but you know. I survived. I'm just not ready for school to start back up on Monday yet. Someone should award me more time off because I'm so awesome.

I kid, I kid.

Not like this year is different from any other year in terms of what I'm thankful for, but I'm thankful for my family. They are some of the greatest, awesomest, loveliest people I know. I'm thankful for a God who will always love me no matter what mistakes I make or options I choose, and who is always looking out for me. I'm thankful for friends  who will always be there for me and conversations that bring us closer together.

But mostly, I'm thankful for the crazy beautiful life that God has given me and all the adventures that I get to go on with people I love.

And pie. Specifically apple.

Jokes! ...but seriously...dudes, pie.

A Whirlwind "Vacation" part 1

I have been gone a while, bloggies, I know. I was too busy having an adventure in another country to blog! That and the internet was really sketchy and I was only using my phone because I didn't have a computer, and well, hello! It was an adventure!

You see, my church leads missions trips to Honduras and has been for years. My dad has made four trips, and for the first time I was able to join him. But oh my word was this ever a whirlwind of a trip. It started and ended so suddenly that I didn't really have time to think about what was happening. The entirety of my stay in Tegucigalpa, Honduras involved me actively choosing to stop what I was doing to take in the fact that I was actually in a third world country surrounded by people who didn't speak my language and yet were so happy that I was there. I just had to take time to revel in the fact that I was given a once in a lifetime opportunity, and be completely and totally thankful that I was where I was.

But before I get too far, let's back up for a second. Sunday afternoon I believe it was, I called my mom just for funsies and because I like to hear her voice. But she told me that my great uncle had been involved in an ATV accident, in which he crushed his kneecap and was rushed into emergency surgery. My uncle and aunt are also involved with the Honduran hype, and this accident prevented both of them from taking their trip.

Skip forward to 10:30 that night, my mother sent me a text. This is unusual because normally she's in bed at that time. I'm sitting on the couch in my living room in Moscow, unsuspecting of the glorious opportunity that was just about to be extended to me.

"Do you want to go to Honduras?"

I have to tell you, I just about died. My heart raced, my breathing became shallow, and my hands started to shake. I had trouble texting her back. Seriously? When did they leave? Did I have to fill out paper work? What about shots? How much did it cost?

And the whole time this is going on I'm telling PC over instant message because I can't just sit there and not let someone know what's happening to me! I'm shaking for crying out loud!

Mom told me to sleep on it and pray about it. The trip would be free for me, but they had to talk to one of the trip leaders first and see if the ticket could even be changed to my name. The team was leaving for Honduras on Wednesday. Monday morning my mom let me know the ticket had been transferred over and I needed to pack up my stuff and come home as soon possible.

I made the hour and a half drive by myself. Tuesday was a blur of getting my arm pumped with diseases (and oh how I hate shots!!), shopping, filling out the necessary paperwork and packing. Wednesday involved a bus ride to Seattle and subsequently sleeping on the two consecutive plane rides thereafter before finally landing in our sunny and warm Central American destination on Thursday around lunch time. 

Better Late Than Never

I am thankful for old money that is still in circulation. I was sad when I had to finally part with my 1995 five dollar bill, which is much prettier than the 2006 one on the bottom of my money totem pole.

I am thankful for a hand to hold when I cross the street in the fog. I'm thankful for foggy days. I'm thankful not foggy days, too.

I'm thankful for this boy. I mean, just look at that face. It just screams adorable.

I'm thankful for being an art major. I'm thankful that I didn't drop out of college and become a hobo on the street. I'm thankful that I'm still here.

I'm thankful for snow. I'm thankful for not snow, but that is summertime weather. When it's wintertime, a nice blanket of white crisp snow that is just begging to be tromped on is just about as much as I can handle. Oh the snow memories I harbor from my childhood!

Oh and also I am thankful for a car to drive. I put the gas in it, but my daddy pays for a lot of the upkeep. He's awesome. I'm also thankful for HIM and he should know it.

I'm thankful for goofy friends to spend time with. That coat is an abomination, but she makes it look good, doesn't she?

I'm thankful for monster burgers to feed his monstrous appetite. 'Nuff said.

I'm thankful for apple pie. You know, my momma won a blue ribbon for hers at least three years in a row at the county fair, so you just know it's the best. You just know. (turkey vent design by yours truly!)

Aaaand I supposed I should mention that I'm also thankful for my mom because she's a sweetheart and everyone who meets her wishes that she was their mom, but how in the world did I get so lucky with not just one but two awesome parental units?

I'm thankful for ski days at Lookout Pass. I'm thankful for TheMechanic (pictured here with the Fajah), and TheKeeper and also I'm thankful for DP even though sometimes she's a huge pain and drives me crazy. Well, actually they are all huge pains who drive me crazy, but that is another story. I'm just thankful they are my siblings and I don't have to share them with anyone because for all their hormones they are a fun bunch of kids to hang out with. And not to mention we are all pretty good looking, huh?

I am thankful for snowmen. And snow forts. And igloos. And snowflakes. And well, just winter in general - even if it makes people forget how to drive.

And last but not least I'm thankful for Jesus. I don't need to describe how awesome he is - because once you know him you just know. I mean, you just do. And pictured here is my tribute to Jonah, who proves that you can mess up royally and try to run away, but God will always be there for you and will always love you no matter what and in more ways than you could ever count to.

I've titled this print "Indigestion." Oh, I crack myself up. I'm thankful for senses of humor. I need to go to bed...

I Heart UR Blog

So Mrs. Lovely at The Ideologies of Melissa gave me this awesome award because she thinks I'm adorable.

She passed it on to me and Cassandra, so I figure I'll just pass it on to two other bloggers. Two is a good number right?

Yes, two is a good number. I see you in the corner! Yeah you! Over there. With the Face. Stop shaking your head! You. Love. Two. I know you do. Okay, now that we have that settled, I'll tell you the two people that I think should get this notorious award.

For two reasons:

1. Because they are awesome

and

2. Because I heart them. Obviously.

So my picks are:

*drum roll please*

King Of Fools at Dead Rapunzel because (besides the other previously listed reasons), she not only rocks my socks but occasionally makes me die with laughter, even if she's occasionally inappropriate and not always family friendly. Oh yeah, and I love her. Tons.

and

Kendrabelle at Carpe Diem because I think she's super sweet and always butters me up with comments. In short, I heart her tons and tons.

So there you are ladies and gentlemen. Now if you'll excuse me, I have minds to warp and values to twist.

Thankful For a Thursday

Thankfulness
is a very good start
But feeling thankful
is just the first part

Gratitude
gone unsaid
Helps no one feel
appreciated

A simple thanks
goes a very long way
and keeps warm and fuzzies
around all day

Family and friends
gather near
uttering thankfulness
for all to hear

Turkey on the table
or maybe a lamb
a prayer of thankfulness
while holding hands

Dinner ends to
feeling full
conversations start
to lull

The tryptophan is
kicking in
dreams are about to
begi.....

Moving Forward?

I think I've been swept away by blogland.

You see, I started this blog with a different writing style than how I write today. Good or bad? Both. Or maybe just different.

I'm not particularly fond of reading things I wrote when I was younger. Probably because it annoys me at how naive, innocent and completely dumb I was to a lot of things that go on in the world. Reading things I wrote in middle school is especially annoying because it's all mellow dramatic and everything I wrote about was the. biggest. deal. ever.

Part of what also influenced my writing style change was reading people's blogs who had a bajillion and sixteen followers. I want to be like them. I want to gain a large following and be someone that other people recommended to their friends for a good read. So I adjusted in order to follow suit. Good or bad? Both. I guess.

And somewhere along the way I thought I lost what I was writing for, but maybe not. I read through some of my February writings and how different they are from the posts I wrote....say, yesterday for example.

But in a great many ways not only has my writing changed, but I have along with it. Instead of lonely freshman in college trying to figure things out about life, I'm a sophomore in college still trying to figure out different things in life. It's odd to look back at myself in past months/years and see what's so different about me.

The car I drive is different. For one I actually have a car now that I helped buy and will keep help paying for until I've paid every cent.

The major I have is different. And as I've said plenty of times before, it's better by a long shot.

My friends are different. They have all changed a large amount since high school let alone last semester. Some are closer, some are farther, some are smarter and some are dumber. Some I don't care if I never see them again and some I miss with a burning a passion.

Life in general is just completely different in a lot of aspects. My relationships have evolved and shifted as I've grown up. Well, not grown up per se, more like gotten older. I haven't gained any height since 8th grade.

But if you're interested, take a walk back through my archives. You'll find some interesting things back there from prior months.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for this blog. For writing. For having a place to write. For other people reading what I write. I'm thankful for my parents because they are incredibly awesome. I'm thankful for spell check because I never spell incredibly correct. I'm thankful for Prince Charming. I'm thankful for my siblings. I'm thankful for God for blessing me. so. much.

What are you thankful for?

Time Flies

Today is my blogiversary. My little blog has now been going for a whole year and is still gaining momentum!

This time last year I published this post and launched myself into the blogosphere head first in icy cold water.

I had three stalkers followers. My Aunt, My Grandparents and Prince Charming.

My dad also avidly reads my blog. He loves to see what I have to say. Since I no longer live in his house, it's a good way to see what trouble I wreak on the daily.

Also going back in time to that fateful day one year ago in my short but seemingly long life, I was living in this same wing of this same building, albeit I had a roommate and Dear Prince-y lived a mere two hours away so I could only see him on the weekends.

Belle and I were still best and best friends could be and we were really enjoying what college life and our dorm hall had to offer. We were caught up in the midst of making new friends, skipping classes, eating omelets and drinking apple juice and taking dorky freshmen girl pictures in front of the vanity in our prison cell sized dorm room.

Now though, Belle is completely different (and I probably am too). She lives in an apartment off campus with Zelda and another girl whom shall for now and always be referred to as "The Crazy One" for reasons that can only be explained in another post if ever I feel as though I should allow you the comfort of knowing exactly the large extent of her craziness and weirdly strange behavior that could not have been seen prior to her live in arrangement with two people I love dearly.

Wow. After that sentence, I need a drink of water. Pause for a sec, okay?




Okay, I'm back. Whew. Refreshing. Ahem, alright, on with the post?

This year I have a completely different major also, which. I. am. loving. to. death. *happy sigh*

And Prince no longer lives two hours away, but is instead right down the hall whenever I need him. Oh who's kidding? He's not right down the hall, we're pretty much in the same room all the time.

On another note, I know a lot of people do a special giveaway post for their blogiversaries.

However, not only do I rarely participate in giveaways (mostly because of my lack of prizes) but I don't know the first thing about hosting one. Besides, I'd probably just want to rig the results so that I won the whatever-awesome-thing-I-should-give-to-someone-else and it ended up being mine forever to sit on a shelf in my dorm room and never be used.

So instead, I just babbled a lot and crossed my fingers that you laughed at my extreme wit and the fact that I am just an awesome person.

Kidding.

Kinda.

So I guess the essence of this post would be to thank you all for following my little blog and giving me words of encouragement and a funny story or two. Not only has my following increased from 3 to 26, but I have a place to express my thoughts and my life in my own little corner of the internet. And I love it.

I absolutely do.

Decorated Anticipation

So today was my last day of work at Twinlow for the summer. I came home to an eye doctore appointment and was told my eyes loved me so much that they needed some glasses. So I'm going to become a very cute 4-eyes and Princey will love me just as much as he did before. He helped pick out my frames.

My mom wanted him to come home with us for dinner.

(She says he's a keeper.)

(And she was keeping a dirty low down rotten secret from me that she almost blabbed about to Princey but thought otherwise.)

She tried to entice him with the lucious pulled pork that was dinner, but even though he would have loved pork over the chicken that was served at his house, still he decided to stay. I think he just missed home - which is understandable because the boy hadn't been there in over a week. Whatevs. He's a lot different than I am in some ways.

BUT as it turns out the real reason my mom wanted him to come home with us was because of the dirty secret that she didn't tell him.

Our Yukon XL in all it's glory pulled into the drive way after 6 o'clock this evening and my beautiful mother hit the door to open the garage. As the door slowly creaked it's way up, it revealed the most amazing thing I've seen all day. (Excluding my friend Vampire's epic display of his newly learned wake boarding talents.)

It was

my

new

car!

I would show you a picture of the epicness that is my new ride, but there are none yet. It's a beautiful white Mitsubishi Lancer and I LOVE IT beyond all reason. Seriously. I probably love my new car as much as Tia loves the Twilight Series. And that's saying something.

Anyway, I suppose I may post something of actual excitment tomorrow for those of you who care. :)

Attitude of Gratitude

So Michelle at Lollypops and Lizards nominated me for the Attitude of Gratitude award! I can't believe it really because I never thought I would win an award for my blog. But this just MAKES my ENTIRE DAY! (That and the grafiti I found on the sidewalk while walking home from the Rec Center after my 3 mile run...)

1. Put the logo on your blog or post.

2. Nominate at least 10 blogs that show an Attitude of Gratitude.

3. Link to your nominees within your post.

4. Comment on their blogs to let them know they've received this award.

5. Share the love and link to this post and the person who nominated you for this award.

Tell us how you've come to have an Attitude of Gratitude.

So now I pass this award on to:

1. My Aunt at With All Our Hearts

2. Paige at Reves Plaisants

3. My Grandpa at In My Father's House

4. Keri at Life of Logan

5. Artelios at Nipperized

6. Suki at Back At Home

7. I know I'm supposed to pick 10, but I'm having trouble. And this is my blog, so I reserve the right to change the rules when I want to. So I'll give out the remaining four nominations when I feel like :-)

Perseverance

The infamous Bible post has finally arrived! Today I'm going to post about James Chapter One. It seems the fam has moved on already to Chapter Two and I'm left behind. No matter! I'll move along at my own pace and let all of my loyal subjects (because I know there are plenty of you) discuss amongst themselves - and ask questions! Okay, I get it! I'm no biblical scholar by any means whatsoever but a little discussion never hurt anyone and questions certainly can only further knowlege.

Perseverance: steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., esp. in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement. (dictionary.com)

The Bible I have is a student bible, so it cross references some things and asks questions about other things. It's my favorite version of the Bible that I've read in all my 18 years. So to start off, lets look at Chapter One of James. Verse 2 is really where the information starts to flow, so that's where I'll go.

James 1:2-5 - "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, (3) because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. (4) Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (5) If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."

This passage sticks out to me for many reasons. Trials does not equal joy in normal thinking, but here we are told that we should rejoice in the trials we experience. Trials aren't joyful, in my opinion, but when they are over you definitely have something to reflect back on and grow from. Right now for me, this trial I'm going through with Belle - it's something to consider pure joy. My move out of the dorm room has caused some other problems that I didn't account for and Belle and I are still trying to move forward from this. I don't know how long it will take, but it's a source of growth for both of us in a time where things are a little hard.

Another reason this passage sticks out to me so much is for my lovly Aunt. I don't feel as though I'm at liberty to say much about the situation considering really the only reason I'm a part of it is because I'm her sister's daughter. This time in my Aunt and Uncle's life is a hard one for them. There has been an almost move, a daughter who isn't quite old enough to understand everything, a horrid economy, and the strain of a long distance relationship to boot. But God has a plan, he always has a plan and for this, maybe the move wasn't suppose to happen. We thought it was a blessing at first, one of the best things to happen, but now this happens, and maybe God just has something exponentially better for them. *fingers crossed*

Consider this passage from Romans Chapter 5, verses 1 through 5:

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, (2) through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. (3) Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; (4) perseverance, character; and character hope. (5) And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whome he has given us."

This relates directly to James because it also states that in our trials we should take joy. It's a hard concept to grasp, but it's important to see that it will help us carry on. Suffereing doesn't have to ruin your life, it's doesn't have to take away from your relationships, it doesn't have hurt. It does hurt, it causes ache, but we have to learn that from that hurt and ache and pain comes hope and joy and character.

Also we should look at a passage from 1 Peter, chapter 1:3-9:

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, (4) and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade - kept in heaven for you, (5) who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. (6) In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. (7) These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. (8) Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, (9) for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls."

This passage is a long one! Whew! But it says some great things - like our faith is worth more than gold. This relates to the fact that gold has to go through a refining fire, but when it's been processed it's beautiful and true. Much like us - we are not perfect and need God to chip away all the things that do not please him so that the truth can be exposed. This comes in the form of trials sometimes, and we have to be prepared for that. We should be joyous when we are faced with a tough time because at the end of it, we come closer to God and closer to the truth because God = Truth.

Now, back to James. :-)

James 1:12 - "Blessed is the man who persevers under trial, because when he has stodd the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."

It's very important that in spite of all the bad, we push forward. "It's all okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end." - unknown. Isn't there an addage (addage? is that how you spell it? I don't know, just go with it...) that says, "it's going to get worse before it gets better"? Things may suck now and we might just feel like giving up, but God will give you the strength to move forward and in return for moving on, there are great rewards to be reaped. God will never give you something too big to deal with. We as people can't do much for ourselves in respect to everything. It's all God-given. And you might not be able to handle it by yourself, but God can do EVERYTHING and all we have to do is trust in Him and lean on Him because you can not screw up what God has put in motion. You can only hinder it by heading to your selfish nature, which I admit I am guilty of more often than not. It's surrendering fully to God that we have trouble with (it goes back to pride, really) and when we finally learn to just let God have it all, that's when we really feel at peace with whatever happens. When you try to deal with everything on your own - well now, that's when things really go south.

James 1:15 - "Then, after desire has concieved, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death."

I still have trouble wrapping my brain around this verse. Desire --> Sin --> Death. Uh oh. Good thing Jesus died for us on the cross, because there is no way I'd be okay otherwise. I mean, I don't think all desire is bad. The verses before this one say that it is 'evil desire.' I'm thinking this is something like money or sex or something of that catagory. Something that you don't need, but only want for selfish reasons. The treasures of this world hold nothing for God's children, and it's when we feel that we need these worldly possessions more than we need God that we get in trouble. But it is never God that is tempting you with something on Earth because He only wants the best for you. It is our flesh and the society we live in - the devil - that tempts and beckons us away from the correct path.

Okay, so we've covered a lot so far. I feel like I'm overwhelming you with information and thoughts. There are a few verses left in James, and I'm thinking it might be better to post them tomorrow because this post is long enough as is. Actually, I think I will do that. This post is long, I know! Congratulations for making it all the way through (hopefully) unscathed. I'll post tomorrow with the end of Chapter One and on Thursday hopefully I'll get Chapter 2 up and going.

Leave thought provoking comments! Or, just comments. I'm good with that too. Let me know if there is some scripture that you think relates, or thoughts that I didn't cover. I don't know everything and I don't try to know everything, but I'm always game for learning more about God and going through the book of James is always a good idea. I didn't realize how much I was missing my Bible fix until I opened it up and drank in the words. Anyhoodle, drop a line with a thought, with a prayer, with an idea.

Lessons Worth Learning

Being Thankful.

I'm Thankful for::

Jesus being the savior of my life!

without him I am nothing

My Parents!

they raised me right

M!

the boy who has my heart and will keep it safe no matter what

The sun in the sky!

it brightens my day and tans my skin

Friends!

K, B and A and all my friends in Hayden. without you all, i would be lost.

Holding my dad's hand!

he keeps me safe and he's always there for me

My Oma!

the gift of writing is a common bond, i'm glad you're my soul mate

Miles and Brenda!

two very influencial people in my life and faith in Christ

Hugging my mother!

she's a soft place to land when the world is too hard for my fragile state of crazy

Personal space!

i like people, but i don't like them that much

The future!

it's always there - a ray of hope when the present looks dim

The past!

the memories are fond, the family is good and it helps shape me for the future

Independence!

breaking the mold and being 'on my own' helps me ready myself for the day when i can no longer fall back on my parents for everything

Eyes!
so i can see the world around me in its beautiful colors

Ears!
so i can hear the sweet voices of those who care about me

Hugs!

they're healthy. they're reassuring. they're always welcome.

Dinner!

sharing a meal with family and friends - it shows that it helps your state of mind and the bond you share with other people

Traveling!

seeing other parts of the world makes me love this Earth that God created for us

Laughter!

because sometimes you just have to smile at the absurdity of how crazy your life is

Pictures!

what better way to remember, than to be visually stimulated?

Art!

it alows people to express how they feel about everything

Music!

pleasing the ears and relaxing to the mind. unless its loud and screaming - then you're just angry

Kisses!

when a simple hug just doesn't cut it

Dogs!

the cliche says they are man's best friend. but i just think they're cute.

Children!

because their minds are simple and uncomplicated when we get too wrapped up in the bigger issues of life

Life

without it, i wouldn't be here

A Wandering Spirit

If there is one thing I love more than anything else on Earth, it's traveling. The whole experience is just awesome. (And that word "awesome" isn't the one that means "totally radical and wicked dude!" but the one that is more serious, meaning "awe inspiring, wonderful, and completely and totally amazing.")

Going to new places and experiencing new life is something that I have been doing ever since I can remember. I've taken plenty of family vacations and I've also gone places on my own. I have always been fairly independent, and I think that's partially a result of being the oldest of four children.

I attribute my love of travel to my dad. He always gets excited when we go on trips and he plans out things for us to do and places that he wants to see. I blame him for my love of photography too. Always taking pictures wherever we go. It's nice though, to have documentation of a trip so that you can look back on it years from now and sigh and say to yourself, "I remember that."

When I started high school it seems I started traveling more. That had to do with sports and so I'm not sure if you really would call it traveling. But nights that I spent in hotel rooms in different parts of the state count to me as travels. Lewiston and Boise for my track experiences, Twin Falls for a drama competition, and Boise also for DECA when I was a junior. It was all fun.

We've been taking family vacations and mini trips ever since before I can remember. Our longest one that I remember is when my dad was switching jobs and he had something like a two week gap between his last day of his old job and his first day of his new job. We hit the road like there was no tomorrow. I don't remember everywhere we went, but I believe it had something to do with Oregon and I also remember the Red Woods of California. This last summer we went to Southern Utah and saw the glory of the red cliffs. We visited something around 7 parks in 9 days? I don't remember exactly, but it was a lot of beautiful red rock.

Soon enough we all got tired of the red everywhere we looked and high tailed it up to Grand Teton Nat'l Park so that our eyes could feast on the lush greeness of the mountains. Grand Teton and Yellowstone I think are my favorites. I know that Jackson Hole, Wyoming is my favorite town. I would live there, but it's ridiculously expensive. :-)

Another trip I feel fortunate to have taken is the trip to Mexico with the Jesbergers. They had been my neighbors for nine years. I call Jan my Mom and Emily is just like another little sister. Mexico was beautiful and invigorating. I want to go back someday.

The sunsets in Mexico are exquisit. You can sit on the beach watching the sunset and it takes exactly 1 minute for the sun to disappear beneath the horizon once it has touched the edge. It's an amazing phenonmenon that I was priveleged to have witnessed.

The third trip I'm going to talk about in this post is my Germany trip. Two weeks around southern Germany living out of a backpack and staying in youth hostels located in basically a different town every night. It was exhillarating and fast paced and also exhausting. But it has kindled a love for foreign travel deep inside my nomadic heart.

I took four years of German when I was in high school and I have instilled a love for the language in each of my siblings. When I first started taking German, I inspired my Oma to look up our family's history because her father is German. This trip was just something special in every sense of the word. I got to practice my use of the language, I got to see many sights, including a concentration camp from WWII, and I got to bring back many pictures so I could share the experience with my family.

The town of Ottobueren, nestled beneath a mountain, on our way back from the Breitachklamm. Very beautiful.

Random fact: Bambi was originally published in 1929 in German.

Snowmen, Snowangels, and Things of the White Fluffy Sort

I love the snow! And when I woke up Saturday morning with a stomach ache and the need to scavenge for ali's tums, the open curtain for her window caught me a little off guard.

It's funny because on friday I was just thinking - this is December already! Why is there no snow? December should have snow!! And then the very next morning - BAM! The snow is here!

So I stumble back into my room after swallowing two tums looking for a drink of water. The snow amazes me, and after my water is all drunk I pull a sweatshirt over my head. So exciting this snow!

The lounge is empty and so I sit myself at the piano and turn toward the windows to watch it become winter outside my cozy spot. I gingerly touched the piano keys and then decided to jam out playing Joy to the World and a so-so rendition of Silent Night which I only partially remember how to play. I butchered it thoroughly and was glad that I was the only one in the lounge to hear my horrendous attempt.

Bored with the piano after my failed song, I moved the to the benches in front of the window which are right over the heater. Hard to explain, but if you saw it, it'd make sense. haha. Anyway, the snow is falling thick and covering the whole world in white fluffy goodness. My heart is smiling and happy and joyous. I love snow and all of sudden I'm in the mood for some hardcore Christmas music. But I got nothing. So here I am, sitting in an empty lounge on a heater bench, watching it snow and I just start singing. Let it Snow is a good one and so is the one who's name escapes me...but it goes "in the meadow we can build a snowman and pretend that he is parson brown" yeah, you all know the song - don't lie. But I think I sang it like five times before I finally decided to return to my room.

Thank you Jesus for the snow! The only thing this complicates is getting back home. The road is kind of dangerous, but whatever happens I'll be okay. I'm sure of it. Mmmmmmm, I loooooooove snow!