Monday, September 26, 2016


Introverts are an interesting bunch, I tell you what. They super are.

This weekend Nathan and I tried to adventure into ULTA - a beauty supply shop - on Saturday. I feel as though this is something that a normal girl would be over the moon about! Yay! My man is buying me some makeup! The possibilities are endless!

But instead, I walked in trailing behind Nathan - immediately overwhelmed by the sheer volume of products. If you know anything about me, you know that a makeup guru I am not! I looked around at all the aisles and my mind went blank.

Why was I even there? What did I need? Who did I think I was, walking into that store knowing almost nothing about make up!?

You'd think, maybe, that since I am an artist I would be all about the makeups. However, as much as I would love to learn more about make up, it's really not something I'm super passionate about. I like to cover up my red spots and even out my skin tone, and I do like a good smokey eye - but when it comes to types of products and differing brands, I am at a total loss.

But these types of places offer consultations of sorts to try out different looks and products to see what you like and what looks good on your skin tone. This is a cool service, but somehow I don't know how to go about asking for it. I hate feeling like I'm imposing on someone, or being demanding. So, I freaked a little bit.

I didn't know what I was doing in that store. I felt so totally out of place and it made me feel ridiculously uncomfortable. I just wanted to leave, but I tried to look around anyway and see if there was anything that spoke to me.

After what felt like an eternity of aimlessly wandering around different aisles, (it was probably only maybe five to seven minutes) a saleslady with a fabulous purple shade of lipstick asked if I needed help with anything. She was very nice and asked me if I could help even to narrow down what I wanted, but I panicked. I couldn't think of anything. I didn't have a game plan, I didn't know what I wanted, and I really just wished I could turn invisible or bolt out of the store.

But instead I just whined that I really had no idea what I was even doing there like a child. It was definitely not one of my finer moments. These are the things that happen when I go out in public unprepared to deal with people. Or, more realistically, having dealt with too many people that weekend already and I was just all peopled out.

I mean, normally I handle myself pretty darn well in public. So well that sometimes people say things like "you're an introvert? really?" As if introverts aren't allowed to have well developed social skills or like being around people.

I can do people. I can do crowds. They're not my favorite and I can't do them for long periods of time, but I can be in public and not be the weird girl in the corner. I promise, introverts can be people persons too. But it only lasts for so long.

But back to my story. The purple lipstick clad saleslady took my attitude like a champ. She gave me her card and said that when I was ready, I could give her a call and we would play.

And then I went and sat in the car with Nathan for a while before regaining my composure enough to go into more stores before ultimately heading home and staying in my apartment the rest of the day to avoid any more people, like a true introvert. 



Here I am. Again. I couldn't stay away. I need an outlet and cutting myself off from the blog was probably one of my dumber ideas.

I mean, I needed the break and to relieve the pressure, but I can't stay away.

You can't get rid of me that easily, internet.

So, here I am. For whenever the mood strikes and the words flow.

It's good to be home.


Tuesday, June 21, 2016


It's been a good run, folks. We've had 8 years together, can you believe it? But I think, it's time for me to move on. I haven't been a good and faithful blogger lately and I think that means that for me, it's time to start over.

I've dabbled with the idea of just starting a completely new blog, so you might look for that in the future. But for now, I'm taking away the guilt of never posting anymore and simply just signing off.

Have a fantastic life, kids. I'll see ya on the other side.

Friday, March 11, 2016


I was in the shower the other morning and having incredibly deep and philosophical thoughts, like you do, and I was thinking about adulthood.

Adulthood and I have had a very interesting relationship. I used to think being an adult was the dumbest thing I'd ever done. And slowly I adjusted to thinking that maybe being an adult wasn't actually that dumb after all...and then I lost my job and went right back to thinking being an adult is completely stupid.

But you know what? It's not really. I got a new job. I was able to pay my bills. I didn't end up living in an old refrigerator box in the back alley of somewhere, as is my worst fear, and life kept going. Life didn't suddenly stop and turn completely on its head like I'd always imagined it would if something catastrophic happened to me.

It's a weird thing about life, how it just keeps marching forward. I know that when I was little I knew this, but I didn't really comprehend it until I was much, much older. I used to think if something went wrong that that was just the end of it. That there was no coming back from that, it was just over. You missed out. You lost. Time to head another direction. And really, that isn't the case. I'm so glad I know that now, but I'm still not sure why I didn't really grasp that then, you know?


So anyway, back to my shower thoughts. Because that's what we're here to talk about anyway, right? Right.

I was washing my hair underneath the steaming hot water in which I have to be surrounded by or else I somehow feel...cold. And as I lathered the suds into my scalp, it occurred to me that I am not really a real adult. Because occasionally I still feel like I'm just a little girl playing pretend at the adult thing. Sometimes I find myself in situations where people think I'm this grown woman, when really I feel like a six year old flailing around down inside me screaming "I'm too young for this!"

And you know what's crazy? I'm not a little six year old girl. I'm actually a pretty well adjusted adult...but then again, fake it until you make it, right? I wonder if I will ever feel like an actual adult and not like a little girl at a masquerade ball.

I'm sure that as time goes on, I'll feel like a more adultier adult, but I guess that just like all things in life, it just takes practice. And then I read Stephanie's blog post about being the one that actually makes your dreams happen and my mind exploded.

You see, even if I am just a little girl pretending to be an adult, I still get to do all the things I want to do. Talking to Nathan, our plans for the future seem crazy to me still. Like, am I really old enough to talk about buying a house? Am I really old enough to move across the country if I wanted to? Am I really old enough to get married and travel and do all of the things that Little Natalie dreamed for Big Natalie to accomplish?

And the craziest part is that I totally am. I am able to make these things happen. I just have to be willing to put in the work and file the papers and do whatever else it is I need to do to make things happen. I tend to let myself get overwhelmed, but if I just take it one step at a time, before I know it, when I look back at my life, all the things I want to do get done.

And that is what I love so much about being an adult. It's more than just making my own bedtime and prioritizing my budget so that I can pay rent. It's the fact that I get to make my own dreams come true. I am the master of my fate - in a manner of speaking.

Plus, to have a partner that has the same goals and plans for the future that I do, it just makes me more excited to keep going. So, yay for being an adult and things. Yay! Confetti! I can do whatever I want!

Tuesday, February 16, 2016



You guys have been doing a thing and I really REALLY need you to stop doing the thing anymore. If I catch you doing the thing, then I'm going to smack you upside the head and give you a list of websites to check out and books to read.

If you're confused, let me clear a few things up for you, okay? Take a deep breath and get comfy, because here we go.

Introverts have a bad name and it hasn't stopped yet because people keep perpetuating the stereotype and no one has really put the real research out there, although plenty of people have tried. There is still this notion going around the introverted people are socially awkward, shy and antisocial. THIS IS AN UNTRUTH!

The real difference between introverts and extroverts is the way in which those people gain and release energy levels. Extroverts gain energy from people. They tend to feel more energized and pumped up after hanging out with their friends, going to a party, spending time in a crowd, etc. Whereas on the flip side of extroversion, introverts gain energy by spending time alone either watching a movie, reading a book, or completing a project, etc.

When extroverts are full of energy, spending time by themselves may be a nice reprieve. When introverts are full of energy, a night out with their friends might not be something they are dreading or loath to do. Ya feel me?

I keep seeing these articles about the "extroverted introvert" which just annoys me to no end. No person is a true introvert or extrovert based on the stereotypes of either being constantly inundated with new people or hating social interaction of any kind choosing to spend a majority of time with your nose in a book. And I'm SICK OF IT. I'm so tired of people perpetuating the stereotype that introverts can't be social creatures.


If you find that you feel more energized after you've spent a couple hours reading your book and you would like to go out and pub crawl Friday night with your friends doesn't mean that you're not introverted. It might even be shocking to learn that introverts even process a lot of social prowess and may even have a nice circle of friends instead of just one or two.

I know, your mind is blown, isn't it?

But seriously. Everyone falls on the spectrum of intro/extroversion and while some people are more on one side or the other doesn't mean that people don't also fall in the middle. There is such a thing as an ambivert, actually.

I'd like to challenge you to help change the dialogue surrounding introversion and extroversion. If we start changing the way we speak and write about it by realizing that it's a spectrum instead of a black and white issue then we can better understand our fellow humans.

Remember that it's not about how shy a person is. Shyness has nothing to do with introversion, it's merely a term for the fear of social judgement. Whether you gain or give energy by being around people or away from people is what gives you your introvertedness or extrovertedness.

Now go forth and turn the stereotype on its head!

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