Hey, remember when Facebook notes were a thing? And MySpace days where they sent around silly questionnaires to fill out? We were all becoming severely annoyed by how many were circulating? Well, I just realized something.
You guys! That information is gold! That's past me! I did that! I filled out those ridiculous answers to every question and now future me gets to reread them all and laugh at myself. Some of my answers to those questions would be exactly the same as four years ago me who originally typed out the answers.
I was going through my Facebook profile page, like you do, way back to the past because sometimes I get real curious about the old me. The me that was freshly graduated from high school and hated Mondays with a burning passion. Sometimes I forget that girl existed because I'm so caught up in my life right now. I don't think a person should dwell on or live in the past, but sometimes it's nice to take a trip down memory lane, right? Right.
So because I know now you're curious, here's one of the notes I found. I'll leave my original answers intact so we can all see the difference ;) (new answers = different color, just fyi)
***********FOODOLOGY***************
1. What is your salad dressing of choice?
ceasar
honey mustard
2. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
one's that serve good food. duh.
i actually really don't have a new answer for this question...haha Northwest Pizza Co probably
3. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
i don't think i could do that with anything. i like me some variety.
sea food!! oooooh yes. sea food all day every day!
4. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
pepperoni. or chicken. yum
pepperoni if i'm going to be bad and eat pizza with cheese on it
otherwise definitely chipotle cashew pizza
5. What do you like to put on your toast?
unsalted butter
pear butter
***********TECHNOLOGY***************
1. How many televisions are in your house?
three.
still three actually.
2.the color of your cell phone?
green :)
black! with a blue/green case on it (i love you, iPhone!)
3. How long would it take you to look up who invented the Rubber Band?
haha however long it takes google to search for me
well, this just proves past natalie was a genius. same answer. high five 19 year old me!
4. Have any idea how many Megahertz your computer has?
no. should i?
and yes. still no idea.
***************BIOLOGY******************
1. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
i have two hands actually. both a right one and a left one. freaky, i know.
HAHA. seriously. could I have been any more sassy?
2. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
baby teeth.
and now i can add wisdom teeth to this portion as well.
3. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
haha wow. idk. i do lots of heavy lifting.
this ancient TV that is in my room. it weighs a million pounds i think.
4. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
not yet in my life. lol.
still negative on this one too, rubber duck
************BULLCRAPOLOGY**************
1. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
no way.
yeah, no. still don't want to know that.
2. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
i like my name.
shocker, i still like my name...
3. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
no. no i wouldn't. no thank you.
and i bet you can guess the new answer to this question too...still a definite no.
************DUMBOLOGY******************
1. How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
one.
i'm up to three now. i got them each for a dollar at old navy! win!
2. Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
haha i don't remember what day it was.
oh geez. months and months ago. stupid 34 in a 25 mph zone.
3. Last person you talked to?
mimi :)
mah roommie Kelsey
4. Last person you hugged?
mimi
my sister! miranda! funny that this is the same answer four years later!
**************FAVORITOLOGY****************
1. Season?
summer
just, yes.
2. Holiday?
thanksgiving
well no, not anymore. i don't think i have a favorite these days.
3. Day of the week?
friday!
oh boy. I will have to change this to Saturday. oh yes.
4. Month?
august :)
baha. yup. still the best month ever :)
***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************
1. Missing someone?
oh definitely. a few people actually.
a resounding NATHAN. long distance sucks.
2. Mood?
ugh
well, yeah. that about sums it up.
3. What are you listening to?
fever by peggy lee
a playlist i created on spotify to justify my obsession with a few different songs that are popular these days
4. Watching?
the computer screen. duh.
hahaha
***************RANDOMOLOGY*****************
1. First place you went this morning?
to the out patient imaging center across from KMC for an ultrasound
to the bathroom for showering! yay for cleanliness!
2. What's the last movie you saw?
Princess Bride
Love, Actually
3. Do you smile often?
everyday yes i do
oh yes. a day without a smile is a day wasted
4. Sleeping Alone Tonight?
yeps.
actually i think i'm spending the night with my sister! sleepover!
***************OTHER-OLOGY*****************
1. So you always answer your phone?
when it's with me, yeah
no way. if i don't recognize the number there's maybe a 20% chance i'll pick up.
2. Its four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
someone who better be in a lot of trouble, because if they aren't, they're going to be for waking me up.
nobody texts me at four in the morning!
3. If you could change your eye color what would it be?
mmmm i love my eye color actually.
why would i do that? blue eyes are awesome!
4. Do you own a digital camera?
yeah
oohh yes! i love it! i need more lenses for it!
5. Have you ever had a pet fish?
nopes
and still a no on this one too, haha
6. Favorite Christmas song(s).
don't know. there are a lot of good ones.
hmmm yeah, i still can't narrow this one down...
7. What's on your wish list for your birthday?
a new camera
and one of those heat or freeze insense pad things that Miss June let me use
my birthday is too far away for this question...
8. Can you do push ups?
umm duh.
yes i can. and i have several funny stories about this too.
9. Can you do a chin up?
yeah. i beat the WMS record when i was in 8th grade :)
yep. i'm a beast, what can i say?
10. Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
the near future is nerveracking right now, but the future future excites me.
EXCITED! the world is my oyster.
11. Do you have any saved texts?
haha i don't thihnk i do anymore
umm, well i don't really delete texts unless i'm making room on my phone for more pictures ;)
12. Ever been in a car wreck?
not anything besides a fender bender that was extremely mild
nope. still nope.
13. Do you have an accent?
everybody does whether they realize it or not.
well, yes. and i can imitate a bunch of different ones from around the world.
14. What is the last song to make you cry?
don't remember
marry me - jason derulo. okay, so i didn't break down and sob but i got a little teary. i really like that song. it's super sweet.
15. Plans tonight?
don't have any yet
going to a play with my sister! Tarzan!
16. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
no. i haven't.
well, maybe? I'm not sure.
17. Name 3 things you bought yesterday.
didn't buy anything yesterday.
i paid the co-pay at the doctor's office to find out i had a viral infection and that's why my ears hurt
18. Have you ever been given roses?
twice. one rose each time.
it was on my missions trip to DC with my lovely small group ladies :)
yeah, still only from the DC mission trip. no one buys me roses. Nathan bought me lilies once tho!
19. Current worry?
my medical predicament
and my financial aid situation
I don't know where my DL is or my debit card. awesome.
20. Current hate right now?
my abdomen
there's a few. i don't really feel like explaining them all.
21. Met someone who changed your life?
his name is Matthew
her name is LizAnn
her name is Amanda
her name is Rebecca
his name is Sheyne
his name is Tyler
his name is Chris
her name is June
her name is Lindy
his name is Max
his name is Brian
and too many others to name.
a lot of people have changed my life. that's the thing about people.
22. How will you bring in the New Year?
with my boyfriend probably
still probably with my boyfriend haha
23. What song represents you?
don't even know. there are so many
oh, yeah. the world is filled with songs that spell out my life.
24. Name three people who might complete this?
don't even know.
this is a dumb question. no one does these anymore!
25. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
eh, maybe. there are some things i would LOVE to change right now
but i suppose everything happens for a reason.
i don't think so. everything we go through makes us who we are today.
26. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
not yet.
hah! yes! i have!
27. Do you have any tattoos/piercings?
pierced ears and nose
pierced nose, two tattoos
28. Will you be in a relationship 4 months from now?
more than likely.
i sure hope so <3 font="">
29. Does anyone love you?
oh yes
quite a few people!
30. Ever had someone sing to you?
haha yes :)
on multiple occasions. i love it!
31. When did you last cry?
eh. a few days ago.
i hurt. it's painful.
well you know. a few days ago.
32. Do you like to cuddle?
mmmmmmmmmmmmm
it's the best
indeed i do.
33. Have you held hands with anyone today?
no :(
he's too far away from me
haha! he's still too far away. stupid moscow. shoot.
34. What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
country!
the good kind of country, not this new country/rock and roll stuff
umm well, this answer can't change too much from a couple years ago haha
35. Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
right now they are mostly all new
which i love
it was time for me to make some new buds
I have a good blend going on right now of new friends and old ones. It's actually really nice.
36. Do you like pulpy orange juice?
eh.
on occasion. i don't drink a lot of juice though really.
37. do you believe angels walk amoung us?
sure do. definitely.
this question feels out of place with the rest of them, but you know, i do. definitely.
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Thursday, November 7, 2013
ROUGH OCTOBERS
So Octobers are difficult months, I've come to the conclusion. Driving back home from parent/teacher conferences tonight, I was reflecting on the last year of my life. I never went to parent-teacher conferences as a student teacher, so tonight was a new experience.
I've said before that teaching is hard. Nathan hears it from me all the time - this is the hardest thing I've ever done. And first years are always the hardest. Even though I had a semester of student teaching, that's all I really had. One semester. And I was never really fully in charge of my class either. I mean, it was a great experience, but it doesn't fully prepare you to take on a classroom all your own.
I remember last October in particular. It was the busiest and hardest month of my student teaching. I was writing this absolutely stupidly huge lesson plan for three consecutive lessons that built on the same concepts and were obscenely large in their required fields of information. Way more information was requested on the school mandated lesson plan form than my principal has EVER asked of me to show him. And then there was also the TPA, where I not only had to video myself teaching a lesson and crop it down to a ten minute segment, but then I also had to reflect on how the lesson went, how the students reacted and what I would change about the lesson had I needed to reteach it to the same group of students and also how I would change it to teach it to a new group of students. I mean, talk about a headache.
And then there's this past October. Dudes, it was the worst probably. I went home and cried on multiple occasions. I got in a mildish case of trouble with my vice principal, and while he didn't yell at me, he was very firm. Students are not supposed to wear hats and I needed to grow a spine. ouch. Plus, my students were just pushing my buttons every which way I turned. I kept trying new methods, different seating charts, different punishments, and things would work for a little while and then I'd be back to square one. I was a little at a loss for everything and I just kind of wanted to quit.
I think that's part of why I was a little nervous for tonight. After how October went, I just kind of feel like it knocked me on my butt and that all the parents would somehow know that I sucked as a teacher.
What surprised me though, was that there are students who are enjoying my class and they go home and talk about how they like art and that I'm one of their favorite teachers and wow. I really needed to hear that. Lately I just feel like I'm maybe not ready for this job and that perhaps I'm a little too incompetent to be a teacher. October had way more bad days than good ones, so I felt like I was losing it.
But tonight, tonight I felt like maybe I didn't suck as bad as I thought I did. And it forced me to realize that I have some really talented students who really do enjoy my class, so I must be doing something right. Right? Hopefully November will be a nice change of pace. I know it will still be challenging, I just want to feel like maybe I have my feet underneath me.
I suppose I'm getting there, but we're always our own worst critic. But just like I had to make myself become a runner, I also have to make myself become a teacher. I'm going to conquer this hill if it kills me, you know? Shoot.
I've said before that teaching is hard. Nathan hears it from me all the time - this is the hardest thing I've ever done. And first years are always the hardest. Even though I had a semester of student teaching, that's all I really had. One semester. And I was never really fully in charge of my class either. I mean, it was a great experience, but it doesn't fully prepare you to take on a classroom all your own.
I remember last October in particular. It was the busiest and hardest month of my student teaching. I was writing this absolutely stupidly huge lesson plan for three consecutive lessons that built on the same concepts and were obscenely large in their required fields of information. Way more information was requested on the school mandated lesson plan form than my principal has EVER asked of me to show him. And then there was also the TPA, where I not only had to video myself teaching a lesson and crop it down to a ten minute segment, but then I also had to reflect on how the lesson went, how the students reacted and what I would change about the lesson had I needed to reteach it to the same group of students and also how I would change it to teach it to a new group of students. I mean, talk about a headache.
And then there's this past October. Dudes, it was the worst probably. I went home and cried on multiple occasions. I got in a mildish case of trouble with my vice principal, and while he didn't yell at me, he was very firm. Students are not supposed to wear hats and I needed to grow a spine. ouch. Plus, my students were just pushing my buttons every which way I turned. I kept trying new methods, different seating charts, different punishments, and things would work for a little while and then I'd be back to square one. I was a little at a loss for everything and I just kind of wanted to quit.
I think that's part of why I was a little nervous for tonight. After how October went, I just kind of feel like it knocked me on my butt and that all the parents would somehow know that I sucked as a teacher.
What surprised me though, was that there are students who are enjoying my class and they go home and talk about how they like art and that I'm one of their favorite teachers and wow. I really needed to hear that. Lately I just feel like I'm maybe not ready for this job and that perhaps I'm a little too incompetent to be a teacher. October had way more bad days than good ones, so I felt like I was losing it.
But tonight, tonight I felt like maybe I didn't suck as bad as I thought I did. And it forced me to realize that I have some really talented students who really do enjoy my class, so I must be doing something right. Right? Hopefully November will be a nice change of pace. I know it will still be challenging, I just want to feel like maybe I have my feet underneath me.
I suppose I'm getting there, but we're always our own worst critic. But just like I had to make myself become a runner, I also have to make myself become a teacher. I'm going to conquer this hill if it kills me, you know? Shoot.
Monday, November 4, 2013
RUNNING AT NIGHT
I remembered that I used to hate running. It was probably my least favorite form of exercise. My legs would ache, I was constantly out of breath, and after just a couple of minutes I was ready to throw in the towel and do something else.
Secretly I wished I was good at it, I wished I enjoyed my feet pounding the pavement and that I could proudly say "I went for a run this morning" and be one of those people. However, outwardly I cursed running. I wasn't good at it and it hurt. Besides, as a teenager I was more interested in boys and showing off my gymnastics skills than I was about being good at running or being in good shape.
I guess you could say it really started when Nathan broke up with me back in January. I mean, prior to that I would hit the gym and run on the elliptical for half an hour but I wouldn't really break a sweat. I was doing just enough to keep from gaining weight, but I wasn't exactly getting anything else out of my workouts. And then suddenly I found myself with a terrible need to distract my brain from reality. So naturally, working out was the best option.
I would watch What Not To Wear and do squats, sit ups, leg raises, lemon squeezers, everybody's favorite burpees, you name it. And then I transitioned from that into running around the neighborhood once the weather warmed up. My tennis shoes hit the pavement and my calves started to ache. My thighs would burn and I would be out of breath before I even got halfway around the block. But I wasn't going to give up. I kept putting one foot in front of the other, determined to make my body cooperate with me.
I was going to make myself like running if it killed me.
The first time I ran a mile I could barely contain myself. I mean, I ran an entire mile, folks. I RAN THE WHOLE WAY! Exclamation points and things! Neon flashing stars! And I've been addicted ever since.
And now Nathan makes me run with him when we're together. He's a lot faster than I am and sometimes I feel like all I do is slow him down, but he swears he doesn't mind. So Saturday night rolls around and it's dark and windy but we lace up our running shoes anyway. He gives me a jacket to put on over my t-shirt because, seriously, it is cold. We're just that hardcore, I mean, what can I say?
He puts a leash on Lance and we're out the door and down the sidewalk. My legs feel good. My breathing is steady. The jacket is nice. The night air is crispy and the wind is biting. I'm thankful for my hat over my ears.
I feel like I'm in the middle of a movie adventure scene, dodging tree branches that hang over the sidewalk in the dark. We are headed down a hill and I feel a little invincible, like I could do anything right now. Up ahead of me I watch Nathan and Lance. Lance keeps stopping to pee on bushes and Nathan tugs at his leash. I catch up, pass them, and then a few seconds later they return to the lead. It's not a bad system we have going, I can keep a slower pace and don't fall too far behind this way.
The sky is super clear and a deep black color with some of the brightest stars I've ever seen. It's beautiful out, despite the nipping wind. I rub my nose with the back of my hand and pull my hat back down over my ears. My ankle is starting to hurt. I can feel the dull ache in my left foot - the one that's injured the most from my chronic tumbling abuse in gymnastics and pole vault. I grit my teeth and keep going.
We're headed up a hill now. My breathing shortens and my quads are on fire. I will beat the hill, though. I can do this. I'm untouchable. And suddenly I love running. Even with pain shooting up my leg every time my left foot touches the ground, I can't stop. The rest of it feels too good. The burning in my legs, the shortness of breath, I love it. I pull my hat back down over my ears. I'm almost to the top of the hill.
Lance stops to mark his territory again and I pass Nathan. I come up over the hill and a gust of wind nearly takes my hat from my head. Again I'm thankful for the jacket. It's impossible to run and hold my hat over my ears at the same time in this wind, so I stop to walk for a bit and Nathan and the dog catch up to me.
Nathan remarks about how clear the sky is. We talk nonchalantly for a while, tugging at Lance's leash every so often because he has to stop and smell all the things. I slip my hand up inside Nathan's sleeve and his fingers wrap around mine tightly. His skin is cold, but so is mine. I'm thankful that we get to walk and talk together. I'm thankful that he runs with me. I'm also thankful that we brought Lance.
I'm glad we're almost back to the house. I'm starting to get cold and my runner's high is fading. But my mind is cleared and my body feels good. I'm rejuvenated. Running restores my soul. I smile to myself again and in the dark Nathan can't see. But I'm happy that I can finally say the words I've always wished I could. I may not be fast and I may not go far, but I at least I go.
My name is Natalie and I am a runner.
Secretly I wished I was good at it, I wished I enjoyed my feet pounding the pavement and that I could proudly say "I went for a run this morning" and be one of those people. However, outwardly I cursed running. I wasn't good at it and it hurt. Besides, as a teenager I was more interested in boys and showing off my gymnastics skills than I was about being good at running or being in good shape.
I guess you could say it really started when Nathan broke up with me back in January. I mean, prior to that I would hit the gym and run on the elliptical for half an hour but I wouldn't really break a sweat. I was doing just enough to keep from gaining weight, but I wasn't exactly getting anything else out of my workouts. And then suddenly I found myself with a terrible need to distract my brain from reality. So naturally, working out was the best option.
I would watch What Not To Wear and do squats, sit ups, leg raises, lemon squeezers, everybody's favorite burpees, you name it. And then I transitioned from that into running around the neighborhood once the weather warmed up. My tennis shoes hit the pavement and my calves started to ache. My thighs would burn and I would be out of breath before I even got halfway around the block. But I wasn't going to give up. I kept putting one foot in front of the other, determined to make my body cooperate with me.
I was going to make myself like running if it killed me.
The first time I ran a mile I could barely contain myself. I mean, I ran an entire mile, folks. I RAN THE WHOLE WAY! Exclamation points and things! Neon flashing stars! And I've been addicted ever since.
And now Nathan makes me run with him when we're together. He's a lot faster than I am and sometimes I feel like all I do is slow him down, but he swears he doesn't mind. So Saturday night rolls around and it's dark and windy but we lace up our running shoes anyway. He gives me a jacket to put on over my t-shirt because, seriously, it is cold. We're just that hardcore, I mean, what can I say?
He puts a leash on Lance and we're out the door and down the sidewalk. My legs feel good. My breathing is steady. The jacket is nice. The night air is crispy and the wind is biting. I'm thankful for my hat over my ears.
I feel like I'm in the middle of a movie adventure scene, dodging tree branches that hang over the sidewalk in the dark. We are headed down a hill and I feel a little invincible, like I could do anything right now. Up ahead of me I watch Nathan and Lance. Lance keeps stopping to pee on bushes and Nathan tugs at his leash. I catch up, pass them, and then a few seconds later they return to the lead. It's not a bad system we have going, I can keep a slower pace and don't fall too far behind this way.
The sky is super clear and a deep black color with some of the brightest stars I've ever seen. It's beautiful out, despite the nipping wind. I rub my nose with the back of my hand and pull my hat back down over my ears. My ankle is starting to hurt. I can feel the dull ache in my left foot - the one that's injured the most from my chronic tumbling abuse in gymnastics and pole vault. I grit my teeth and keep going.
We're headed up a hill now. My breathing shortens and my quads are on fire. I will beat the hill, though. I can do this. I'm untouchable. And suddenly I love running. Even with pain shooting up my leg every time my left foot touches the ground, I can't stop. The rest of it feels too good. The burning in my legs, the shortness of breath, I love it. I pull my hat back down over my ears. I'm almost to the top of the hill.
Lance stops to mark his territory again and I pass Nathan. I come up over the hill and a gust of wind nearly takes my hat from my head. Again I'm thankful for the jacket. It's impossible to run and hold my hat over my ears at the same time in this wind, so I stop to walk for a bit and Nathan and the dog catch up to me.
Nathan remarks about how clear the sky is. We talk nonchalantly for a while, tugging at Lance's leash every so often because he has to stop and smell all the things. I slip my hand up inside Nathan's sleeve and his fingers wrap around mine tightly. His skin is cold, but so is mine. I'm thankful that we get to walk and talk together. I'm thankful that he runs with me. I'm also thankful that we brought Lance.
I'm glad we're almost back to the house. I'm starting to get cold and my runner's high is fading. But my mind is cleared and my body feels good. I'm rejuvenated. Running restores my soul. I smile to myself again and in the dark Nathan can't see. But I'm happy that I can finally say the words I've always wished I could. I may not be fast and I may not go far, but I at least I go.
My name is Natalie and I am a runner.
A RE-POST OF SORTS
This guy right here, folks.
He's the weirdest. And I mean that in the highest form of endearment you can possibly imagine. I think he might be weirder than me.
He may not be perfect, but he's mine. And I couldn't be happier.
Stephanie posted about what she's looking for in a guy and then Alana did the same thing. I wrote this post a while back, right after Jordan and I broke up. I went back and re-read it today and thought I'd share. It had been a while since I've read this and I kind of forgot what exactly I wrote, but I kept nodding my head checking off how many things on my list Nathan has. I must have done something right ;)
\\//
Valentine's Day is probably by far my least favorite holiday. When I've had a boyfriend on V-Day it was always "do we celebrate? do we ignore? we're too poor to go out..." and it was frustrating. And when I've been single, everyone loves to show off their wonderful relationships. A lot of my friends are married too and all I see on Facebook is "OH EM GEE HE BOUGHT ME FLOWERS! AND CHOCOLATE! AND HE'S THE BEST EVER!" And I just want to gouge my eyeballs out.
I know that God has someone out there for me who is perfectly planned to fit into my life seamlessly and that I am perfectly planned to fit seamlessly into someone else's life as well. And I'm fully aware that I am waiting for God's perfect timing. I will not be sorry that I waited for this wonderful man.
I wrote out all of the things that I want in a guy, because I spent all yesterday thinking about it.
I want someone who's not afraid to run wild with me. I want someone who will hug me when I'm mad, hold me when I'm sad and love me when I'm whiny. I want someone who is excited to wake up next to me every morning and kiss my face hello. I want someone who couldn't imagine ever being with anyone else ever. I want someone who gets my humor and laughs at my jokes. I want someone who encourages me to be myself, who instills confidence and boosts my self esteem. I want someone who thinks I'm beautiful in every way imaginable.
I want someone who is motivated, intelligent, funny, silly, godly, loving and caring. I want someone who will strive for what he wants in life. I want a leader, a bodyguard, a tough guy with a tender soul.
I want a guy who's not going to give up or get gone. I want someone faithful, honest, and sticks around. I want someone who will pick me over all the other girls. I want someone who I just know has to be a gift from God. I want someone adventurous and outdoorsy. I want someone who knows what he's doing or at least acts like it. I want someone who will take good care of me.
I want someone who isn't afraid to be seen with me in public. I want someone who will show me off to the world and brag about how awesome I am. And I want someone that I can say all those same things about too. I want someone who loves me more and more and more the longer he is with me. And I want him not to be afraid to show it.
And someday I'm going to have that. And it will be awesome. And the stuff dreams are made of. And it will be work. Love is a choice, a commitment, a way of life - not just a feeling. But I want it so bad. I want to be loved so bad that sometimes it hurts to watch everyone else be so happy.
But you know what? I am glad to be in the place that I am right now. At least I'm trying to be. I'm here for a reason, single for a reason. I think I have to get to a place where I am fully accepting of how life is right now and that will only come through praying and relying on God to make the best choices. Because when you try to take control, things just get messy. It's always better when you put your troubles in God's hands. He always knows exactly what to do.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
