Wednesday, February 2, 2011

One Week

Last Wednesday I woke up after having some very bad dreams about Prince Charming, and then I read a text from him telling me good morning and wishing me luck on my first day of teaching.

This morning I woke up after some very good dreams about Prince Charming to no good morning text from anyone, and my stomach is in knots.

It's been one week since I told Princey goodbye. And yesterday and today I woke up with the worst stomach aches wishing that he would just hold me and play with my hair and make it all better. But that's not going to happen. Not anytime soon.

I can't help but ache for his presence. I want him to be around. I want him here, with me. I don't know what he wants, I don't know if he misses me. I don't know if he aches for me. But I wish he did.

Today I am nervous to teach. We are going on a field trip, and I don't really want to keep track of thirty plus students. I feel like today is going to be exhausting. I really wish today that I had someone to come home to who would love on me and tell me everything is okay.

I've been thinking a lot about Prince Charming, it's like I can't NOT think about him. Everything reminds me of him. And then I wonder if the same things go through his mind?

Also, I think you guys are probably tired of all of my posts just being about my break up, but writing is therapeutic for me. It's how I process. And this month is going to be difficult and filled with all sorts of posts I think. I think there will be sad ones and angry ones and there will probably be a lot of those before I can write happy ones. I don't know what this month is going to hold for me, but right now all I feel is heartache and sadness that I no longer share my life with someone who is so important to me.

And I want to thank everybody who has given me advice, or been there to listen to me cry, or sent loving words or encouragement. You all have helped tremendously and I really appreciate each and every one of you. Thank you all.


  1. Writing is how I get through things as well. Whenever I hit tough times I always feel like I'm hounding my poor bloggers with my stupid problems over and over again, but really, they don't mind. I don't mind.

    You need support, and that's what we're here for.

  2. I can tell you that everything you're feeling is very normal, unfortunately, I can't make it magically better - only time can do that. So vent all you need to!

  3. One day, many years down the road, you will be hiding in your home office writing a post about how you just needed a few moments to yourself. Being a wife and a mom and having constant demands on your time and energy from those you love can be draining without taking time to rejuvenate yourself. You will dream of the days in your 20's when you were single and able to eat what and where and when you wanted - or not at all. To take off in a moment's notice without packing a snack or activity bag. So many things that are so easy to take for granted that only happen in your 20's. College experiences, relationships. Live in the moment, Sweetie. Enjoy the moment. All of the pain from this breakup will fade away and you will only have beautiful memories in just a little while. You will be able to smile and say, "ah - those were good times, but I'm so glad that I moved on when it ended." Trust me. I promise it won't suck forever!!! I love you!


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