Last Wednesday I woke up after having some very bad dreams about Prince Charming, and then I read a text from him telling me good morning and wishing me luck on my first day of teaching.
This morning I woke up after some very good dreams about Prince Charming to no good morning text from anyone, and my stomach is in knots.
It's been one week since I told Princey goodbye. And yesterday and today I woke up with the worst stomach aches wishing that he would just hold me and play with my hair and make it all better. But that's not going to happen. Not anytime soon.
I can't help but ache for his presence. I want him to be around. I want him here, with me. I don't know what he wants, I don't know if he misses me. I don't know if he aches for me. But I wish he did.
Today I am nervous to teach. We are going on a field trip, and I don't really want to keep track of thirty plus students. I feel like today is going to be exhausting. I really wish today that I had someone to come home to who would love on me and tell me everything is okay.
I've been thinking a lot about Prince Charming, it's like I can't NOT think about him. Everything reminds me of him. And then I wonder if the same things go through his mind?
Also, I think you guys are probably tired of all of my posts just being about my break up, but writing is therapeutic for me. It's how I process. And this month is going to be difficult and filled with all sorts of posts I think. I think there will be sad ones and angry ones and there will probably be a lot of those before I can write happy ones. I don't know what this month is going to hold for me, but right now all I feel is heartache and sadness that I no longer share my life with someone who is so important to me.
And I want to thank everybody who has given me advice, or been there to listen to me cry, or sent loving words or encouragement. You all have helped tremendously and I really appreciate each and every one of you. Thank you all.