FAMILY FOTOS

We had family pictures taken earlier this December, and I love every stinkin' one of them.

HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIDE

It has become increasingly difficult for me to sit down in this space and crank out my thoughts like I used to. I open the page, read some posts and then exit out as if I was never a writer at all. I'm beginning to wonder if that means I should shut down or if I should launch a new space, one that's different and fresh and blank. One that isn't full of memories and stories already, an empty book with blank lines. It'll even smell crisp, like a new notebook purchased in the fall for the impending start of the school year.

Or maybe perhaps that will be too much work and here, I already have my friends. All three of you that read my blog. (Hi Dad!)

So who knows. I just know that 2015 was a terrible year for the blog! Sorry guys! It wasn't as if I had bad intentions here...my follow through this year was just focused on other things. I mean, it has been a wild ride I think.

I started out the year working for the juice bar. I worked what felt like a billion hours a week (which is just a slight exaggeration) and it just started to burn me out on the job. I started as a barista when I was 17 years old, and even though I worked in a school for two years post college, moving back to the juice bar (while fun) still felt like a giant step backwards as much as I tried to convince myself it was just sideways.

And then in the summer I made a remark that I shouldn't have, it got blown way out of proportion, and so I had to walk away. Actually it was a huge blessing in disguise. Sure, I worried about how I was going to pay my bills and buy my groceries, but it also helped me realize the incredible support system that I have here in my little Idaho.

In late August, just before I turned 25, I started working for a photographer. He's a photographer that I've admired for years and years and meeting him was a little unreal for me. He had only lived in my head and on my computer/phone screen for so long that you kind of forget that he's a real person. But honestly, the shock only lasted for a couple days and then we were into the real stuff. Especially because my backup left me after three and half days on the new job and I felt like a complete idiot 90% of the time.

Transitioning from juice bar barista to photography studio manager was a much steeper learning curve than I had anticipated. Plus the lack of training and the being right at the tail end of the busy season left me in a kind of "sink or swim" situation - which I feel like is my whole life. But it got better. It didn't get easier, I just figured out how to do more stuff. And my relationship with my boss started to develop away from him being upset that I didn't know what I was doing, to him being appreciative of all the things I do there now. It's been a little bit of a roller coaster, if I'm being completely honest.

I would tell myself that I just had to get through today. I just had to make it until five o'clock and then I could breathe a sigh of relief. Or I just had to get through the next hour. I just had to get through this phone call. I had to set up little goals for myself or else I think I would have lost it.

But looking back at how far I've come in just a matter of months, and even though there are things that still terrify about this job, I'm mostly just excited about it. It shows on my face. My dad says this is the happiest he's seen me in a job in a while. And it's true, I am happy. I'm even, get this, joyful.

I'm joyful for a multitude of reasons, all of which were made that much sweeter having gone through the juice bar battle and the photography manager goal setting.

I'm joyful because I have a family that loves me and is willing to back me in any I want to pursue. I started making custom gifts this holiday season, and I got a way higher response than I had anticipated I would. I made quite a few gifts this year and I hope to just continue on with that. I would like to ship things across the country, not just the state, you know? And my dad has expressed an interest in helping me do that. I can't thank him enough for just how incredible he's been to me.

I'm joyful because I have developed an interest in designing fabrics, which was helped along by the love of my oma. She has been such a source of encouragement and even sent me Christmas presents made out of the fabric I designed!

I'm joyful because I have a great relationship with my boyfriend which just keeps growing and growing. He's such a rock of support for me and he pushes me to make tough decisions. He's smart and ambitious and I don't know what I'd do without him.

There are a few other important people in my life that have helped to finish this year out nicely for me. It's amazing after how tumultuous my summer felt, to be this happy at the end of the year. But you know what? I'm glad. I'm glad there's snow and skiing and family surrounding me this December. I'm usually such a grinch this time of year, and I expected to feel annoyed all month. But then it started with a windstorm in November and then it's snowed practically all of December and maybe I'll be really tired of the snow in February just like every year, wishing it was summer time, but also maybe I'll just like it because that's how it is.

I've learned a lot this year. I've grown a lot this year. And I honestly am just excited to see what the new year brings. Happy 2016 kids. May it be exactly the year you need.

A HEARTY THANKS

I feel like I say this every year, but this year feels especially fast. Maybe it's just the second half of the year that has been so incredibly...unique, or it could just be that time passes faster the older you become. I mean, not that it really matters anyway.

But since this year has been totally out of the norm, it's shaped me in ways I didn't know I could move. It's stretched me and grown me and pulled me in different directions. It's made me more confident in some areas and also shattered other parts of me beyond recognition. And I guess that's what happens when you go out into the world and try to be a functioning adult. Limits get tested, patience is worn thin, grace and humility become your best friends and you are forced to figure shit out. Welcome to adulthood.

As weird as it sounds though, it's actually something I really enjoy. This year I lost a job in the stupidest way possible and had all sorts of negative things spread about me (I can only assume, based on the situation, as it was not peaceful) which was a complete and utter first in the Natalie department. But through that situation I came out with a different and better sense of self.

As an artist, I started designing fabrics and have even sold some to people who are not my family - which is, as they say, the mark of success. As a girlfriend, I got to understand just how much Nathan loves me through all the stress that we've dealt with the past few months. As a daughter, I have witnessed just how much my parents care about me and my wellbeing and how readily they will sacrifice for me when I need them to. As an employee, I have learned that it's not the amount of money you make, it's the experience you get doing it. Which could also be in the art category too, you know, starving artist and all.

So as we've just finished Thanksgiving and are about to head into the Christmas season, I have been filled with a spirit of thanksgiving. Or at least I want to be filled with a spirit of thanksgiving but sometimes I am filled with a spirit of hunger and crankiness - I am only human after all.

But I'm thankful for quite a few things this year, including but not limited to: my family, who keep surprising me in all the best ways; all my friends, who are supporting me in all my artistic endeavors or who listen to me rant about things without judgment, (you guys are amazing!); my oma, who has supported me and offered a lot of advice and who has been my biggest cheerleader when it comes to designing fabrics and creating art; and Nathan, who is so much more to me than a boyfriend and even when I'm crabby and impossible, for whatever reason, he still loves me and surprises me with little things all the time. I couldn't have asked for anyone better to have by my side.

And as we head into the land of greens and reds and jingly bells, while you are all taking the time to make a unique gift or thoughtfully pick one out at a store, remember who it is you're buying for and why you are so thankful for them.

Christmas tends to make me really grinchy and irritated with all the people in all the stores buying all the things and paying absolutely no mind to the world around them. Sometimes I get so annoyed feeling like I'm the only one paying attention to my surroundings, that I lose track of the fact that these are humans too. And they are somebody's mom, grandma, dad, sister, brother, aunt or uncle. And they deserve to be treated like a human being too.

So goosfraba this holiday season, my friends. And a Happy Christmas to you!

AND FINALLY: PICTURES

So my brother went and got married way back in July (way back. HA) and they have been keeping their wedding pictures hostage over in the greater Seattle area, and I finally just got ahold of 256 of their giant photo collection. They tried to tailor the CD to the pictures I would want to see and they did a fantastic job.

I bring this up because they were here for the weekend - the first visit since they left for their honeymoon at 10 o'clock at night on July 11, 2014. That's the sucky thing about living 5 hours away from each other. I sat down with Rylie and looked at the pictures on computer, talking about the people in them and reliving their wedding. It was just such a magical night, I mean, honestly.

Those crazy kids are two of my very favorite people and I wish we got to spend more time together. It's been a great ride watching my little baby brother grow up and become a man. He had the chubbiest cheeks and this little rotund belly and the cutest little voice. And now he's tall and thin and handsome. I mean, how did that even happen? Shoot.

And so now I give to you, the picture portion of the post because that's what you're all really here for anyway, right? Right.

 possibly my favorite picture from the morning

 this picture makes me think American Gothic. 

 the family! (it's still weird to say sister-in-law haha)

 don't be alarmed, this is a recreation of one of my parents' wedding photos. 

 i love the looks on both of their faces in these two photos. katie captured their love for one another perfectly. 

 and then it was time to party - with nerf guns and bride kidnapping. way more fun than a money dance, oh yes.

 i super love this guy. 

and just like that they roared off into their new life together in a convertible bumblebee camaro. 

AROUND HERE LATELY

I think it is the fashion of summer to never turn out like I always imagine it will. I dream of long summer days with no responsibilities and more adventures than I can think up, and then what happens is school gets out and then people nag and nag and nag until I have another job because seriously, what adult takes three months off every year?

So I started working at Le Peep as a hostess and then I'll start managing again towards the end of this month. I jumped in head first the fourth of July weekend Thursday through Sunday when we were the busiest ever and I don't know what it is about having a job that makes me feel like all my freedom has been taken away from me, but it is what it is.

I wanted to take a vacation this summer. I wanted to road trip to a faraway land and spend some time on the coast, but you know, paychecks are apparently more important to everyone else but me. Money is the stupidest. (But let the record show that I really do like working at le peep and i have some of the best co-workers ever. i mean, if i have to work somewhere, le peep is probably one of the best places. just so you know.)

Hopefully I'll find myself on the river in the woods at least once this summer or I just might quit everything and become a hobo who lives on a train so no one can find me and make me become employed. I'm not sure why exactly I have this stance on working - probably because warm summer weather was made to spent laying in the sunshine down at the beach instead of inside a building, but not everyone seems to agree with that?

Anyway, moving on. (That was a great transition, I know. But also, I think it's been over a month since I wrote anything so here you go. I'm out of practice.)

June just seemed to kind of scoot by unnoticed. It rained a lot and people were bugging me to get a job too much for me to really just enjoy finally being out of school for the summer. Teaching is a tough profession and you work really hard during the school year that I feel there is some deserved time off once that final school bell rings the last day of classes.

Now, it's July and I've been a terrible blogger because I've been trying to live life. Working has kept me busy and when I wasn't herding people and keeping track of the wait list and directing customers to their tables, I was helping prepare for my brother's wedding. Mimi and I spent a whole Monday making mints and we had family in town and the Fourth and it was just what seemed like utter craziness that all climaxed last Friday night at 7 when the music started and we all walked down the aisle so my brother could marry the love of his life.

"The Best Day of My Life" by American Authors played over the PA system and my brother started off the procession with the officiant by heading down the aisle. I followed him with my arm linked to a good friend and the rest of the wedding party followed after. We danced down the aisle to the music, setting the tone for what was going to end up being the funnest wedding I've ever attended.

Standing up at the front, under the tree where my brother and his wife exchanged their vows, I didn't expect I was going to cry. I couldn't see Rylie, but I watched my brother through almost the whole ceremony. His lip quivered and his shoulders heaved and his voice quaked with all the pent up emotion one gets from taking a big life step. Their vows were so sweet and personal, their ceremony was simple and beautiful. I think one of the only traditional things that happened was that Rylie wore a white dress and they exchanged vows and rings, but everything else was just simply them.

They are going to be adventure buddies for life and they are going to make blanket forts and eat pizza and raise giant headed blonde chubby babies. And their home is always going to be filled with love - you could see it on their faces and you could hear it in the voices and you could watch it in the way they interacted. They might be young, but they're smart and we are just all so happy to have Rylie as part of our family.

Once the ceremony ended the music started up and we ate angel food cake, mints and fruit until we couldn't eat any more. And then we mingled and we dance and we had a giant nerf gun fight where the best man kidnapped the bride and held her for honeymoon fund ransom (a family tradition). Jimmy and Rylie got married under a huge tree with lights hanging from it and once the sun went down that's where they had their first dance. Rylie's cousin sang "I can't help falling in love with you" and I think everybody cried.

But I'll tell you, my favorite part of the whole evening was when Nathan danced with me under the tree. One of his hands was on my back, the other hand holding my own, my cheek pressed against his chest, the sky was starting to get darker, and the moon was huge over the lake. We were talking about silly things, existing in our own little world. I looked just passed Nathan and saw my parents dancing, much the same way we were. And it kind of made me happy for the way things are right now.

How often I find myself caught up in the hecticness of life and I forget to take a step back and be content with where I am now. This life is the only one I've got, it's my only shot down here on Earth and I will be sad if I am one of those old ladies who looks back on her life and only wishes that she'd paid attention to the 'here and now' more often than not.

Consequently, I don't have a lot of photos from the evening because I chose to leave my cell phone in the bridal suite instead of carrying it with me everywhere like a tumor. But it helped me to be living in the moment more, and to enjoy who I was with and where I was and what I was doing. It helped me to be able to focus on talking with my family, pestering Nathan and being there for my brother and sister-in-law.

We sent them off just before ten o'clock and waved good bye as they headed off to their road tripping honeymoon to start their life as adventure buddies forever.

(Also, since I know you're curious, here are some pictures of the wedding I stole from Facebook.)

rehearsal dinner

dancing down the aisle

ceremony and first kiss!

me and my favorite guy ♥ 

first dance under the lights

yes, that is the moon.

HAPPY WEEKEND

I love when new people come to Coeur d'Alene and I get to show them the cool stuff around my city. I grew up in Hayden, technically. Which is sort of like telling people you're from Seattle when you live in Kirkland. It's all the pacific northwest, but to outsiders Hayden and Coeur d'Alene are the same place - at least according to Nathan, who is apparently an authority on the subject.

Anyway, the two of us got to play tour guides of sorts for his grandparents this weekend. We took them to some great restaurants with some beautiful views - because if there's one thing Coeur d'Alene is not short on, it's them views. Lakes and mountains and pine trees and the forest is right in the middle of town - I mean, this is a dream world, people. 

Friday night we went to Dockside, which is hidden in a back corner of the resort and it over looks the marina. Nathan's grandma had never tasted huckleberries, which are basically the best berry you could ever eat in your life, so naturally that needed to be remedied. We ordered the huckleberry cobbler for dessert and it was ah-mazing.

Saturday Nathan and I drove out to a little tiny town an hour away to help celebrate my friend Joel's daughter's birthday. Joel, in all his expert communicator glory, did not relay the information that I would be in attendance so upon my arrival the kids ran out of the house and Jack jumped into my arms for the biggest hug I think you could get from a six year old. Which, that just made the whole drive out there worth it. Good gravy I love that family. Sheeeeesh. 

We met back up with the grandparents for another dinner with a gorgeous view at Tony's On The Lake. Nathan and I discovered it on a late night adventure last summer and he's basically been dying to go back ever since. And then we stood outside to take our picture with this giant bridge in the background because we are the coolest. 

And then, to round out our incredible dining experience, we hit up Le Peep (my favorite restaurant!) for lunch Sunday afternoon before we hugged and kissed goodbye. I love Le Peep, but I did not want to go. I was not ready to say adios to that Nathan kid. Sometimes these weekends with him just feel like a giant wonderful dream and then I have to wake up to a harsh reality that he lives two hours away. Sad face. 

All in all, it was a good weekend with great company and delicious food. Just come back already, Nathan. ♥

AUTHENTICITY

2013 was kind of a mess for me, I would like to think. This whole being an adult thing about life is way harder than anyone can ever tell you and not in the ways that you would think. We all know that as we age we are expected to pay bills, move out of our parents' houses, and get big-person jobs. Our childhoods are all about preparing for that part of life - we all know it's coming.

What we don't expect are the changes in relationships, the small adjustments in how you express yourself and the way that you make decisions. I've realized that not only does the relationship you hold with your parents change with the coming of new years, but also the ones you have with your siblings. As children you protect each other from bullies, bicker about who gets to sit in the front seat of the car, pout when one of them won't share their new toy, etc, etc. And in growing up, you go from fighting over the last chicken nugget to living in completely different states.

This next year is going to be full of so many more changes for me that I can't even begin to tell you all of them. Some of them I have no idea are coming (because who can see into the future, amiright?) and some of them I am already planning on how to deal with.

Daniel is going to graduate high school this year. He's going to move to Arizona to go to a trade school and become a certified mechanic. I can't even believe it, you guys. This boy! He is probably one of my favorite people on the planet - so caring and nice. Helpful and sweet and he has the heart of a servant. He's also incredibly mischievous and a wee bit evil sometimes, which just makes me love him even more although I sometimes kind of hate him too. Brothers, you know?

And in July, Jimmy and Rylie are tying the knot. These two are so perfect for each other it's not even funny. I'm so happy that they are going to be together forever, let me just tell you. When Jimmy and I were little, he was my adventure buddy. He was my partner in crime. We would do everything together from climbing trees and hay bails, to riding our bikes without holding the handlebars, to jumping out of second story windows.

I was excited for him to go off to college and begin growing up, but I was unprepared for the way that we would change. We are still definitely brother and sister and it really shows when we're together and still hold conversations solely in movie quotes, but we also interact a lot differently now too. I suppose that is to be expected, but it still catches me off guard. This little blonde headed chubby baby brother of mine is now a man with the most precious fiancé. Instead of me and him against the world, it's him and her. And she is just perfect for the job too, I couldn't have found someone better suited to keeping my mouthy brother in line if I had tried.

2014 is also the year that I will finish up my first year of teaching and start my second. Student teaching is all good and fine and things, but being the actual teacher is so much more work than you are ever going to be prepared for. It's a constant battle to keep my head above the water and I'm always on my tip toes. I hear the water level goes down with the more experience you gain, so I'm looking forward to that I suppose.

I have been blessed with some amazing students and I've formed some good working relationships with a few of my co-workers. It's still tough being the baby and the newby but life goes on. It always goes on.

Nathan will graduate from the university in May and I have no idea what's going to happen after that. Which, admittedly, is both terrifying and exhilarating to me. When we first started dating I feel like it was very surface level attraction. I liked him, he liked me, but I moved and I didn't know how long we would keep up the long distance. And then in January my suspicions were answered when he pulled the plug on our little relationship.

What exceeded my expectations though, was the fact that he came back around in March and worked very hard to fix what he had broken. I am seriously the luckiest girl in the world to be able to call him mine. Sometimes I just look at him from across the room and it's hard to believe that we are where we are. Together. Us against the world. We have climbed mountains with each other. We've come so far, and our journey is not over yet. I can't wait to see what this new year holds for us. As individuals and as a couple.

And in other news, no new year's resolutions for this girl again this year. But instead, I have a word. Two years ago I picked the word "explore" (which was awesome) and last year I picked "courage" (which was decidedly not awesome). This year my word is authentic.

Your 20s are about defining who you are, and so that is my goal. This year I will turn 24 (a fact that I can hardly believe) and so I'm learning to make my way in this world as a grown woman. I want to be authentic to myself, no extra smoke and mirrors, nothing to get in the way of who I am. I want to be able to let the stress go and just take life one day at a time as myself - whoever that is. I want to discover authenticity in relationships and my job and all over my life. It's important to be true to who you are and to who God is calling you to be. I know this year will have its ups and downs and I'm not about to go making promises that 2014 is going to be the best year ever. But I do believe that 2014 is going to be a good one, or at least I hope so.

So, new year, let's do this. Hit me with your best shot.

WHAT DOES WELL-FUNCTIONING EVEN MEAN?

This last week of school before break is somewhat torturous unto my soul. The kids are crazy and their little brains are focused on everything other than the task at hand, and I mean really, can you blame them? Not only is this week their last week before Christmas vacation, but it's also a Spirit Week before a big rivalry basketball game on Friday night. Gasps. My crazy little world just got even crazier.

And then there's the whole OH MY GOSH IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME going on here. I have a week to work with here, people, before there is present opening and monkey bread eating and my brother will be here with his cute little fiance in tow! Then we are all going skiing. And by "all" I mean the whole fam damily. My parents, both brothers, mah seester, mah future seester, and also me and that Nathan guy. I can hardly wait. Like, it might be killing me to wait for that trip. I am not even kidding.

But back to being at work for this week, look, it is tough stuff. I had a conversation with my awesome friend Joel over the telephone the other day, and hey, we agreed that this teaching stuff is pretty rough. He was making sure that I wasn't about to commit career suicide and I had to admit that the gun was maybe loaded, but it wasn't aimed at anything yet. This week is also not helping that case.

I keep telling myself we are just going to watch movies Thursday and Friday and that makes me feel a little better but I still kind of want to pull out all my hair. Kind of.

Oh but to briefly switch the subject, for those of you who were curious, I have slightly updated my wardrobe and that seems to be helping in the 'looks like 17 but is probably older' department. Although, spirit days and all have thrown a bit of a loop into the situation here. Hey, you can't win 'em all. But I'm trying. Wearing my hair pulled back seems to help too. Shoulder shrugs and heavy sighs.

My art room seems to be in a constant state of disarray and I feel like some deep seeded joke in the cosmos is reflecting that in my life as well. Everything is all over the place all the time. Do you ever feel like that? I mean, I conquered one thing (clothes!) and there are still a billion other things that need to be taken care of. It's just awesome, is what.

Also, this post I think is all over the place. Organization? What even does that mean? So here we are. It's definitely Wednesday. I need a glass of wine and a nap.

Over and out.







ps Nathan took me to see The Hobbit The Desolation of Smaug on Friday night. It was awesome. Even better than the first. And we saw it in 3D too. AMAZE-BALLS. Go watch it RIGHTNOW and you can thank me later.

REFLECTION

As the year starts drawing to a close, I seem to always get more reflective and thankful about life. The serenity of a snow laden landscape, the sun setting behind the rolling hills of the Palouse on a long drive home, and the calmness of the music playing softly through my car's stereo speakers all come together in such a perfect way, indescribable with words. It makes me all sorts of nostalgic.

I was remembering my life for this past year and what a crazy roller coaster it's been. It's funny to me, that as you go through life you often forget what life was like a month ago. A year ago. Three years ago. Who were you then? What were you doing? Who was important? Where did you live?

And holy buckets you guys, I have come so far. When I started this blog* I was a freshman in college. I was just a little baby, embarking on the adventure of my life with no idea of the obstacles I would face or the path I would choose. I was wide eyed and innocent, not even eighteen years old. Now here I am, twenty-three and graduated with a full time teaching position.

Sometimes I wish I could go back and do it all over. But then I think about all the papers I had to write and projects I completed, paperwork I filled out, and I'm glad I'm on the other side of all that. We tend to glorify the past, only remembering the good parts and forgetting the painful ones. College was such a fun time in my life, for the most part. But there was a lot of crap I went through too, and college hurt a lot. It forced me to grow, it helped shape my journey.

College was full of life lessons to learn. It was full of relationships, with boys and girls who were older and younger than me. I had to navigate situations I'd never been through before. I had to learn who to trust and when to let go. My time at the university taught me so much more than just academics, it taught me life. And for that, I am thankful.

There is a lot in my life, actually, that I am thankful for this year. Because it's November, a lot of my friends and family are posting everyday the different things that make them grateful. I haven't been doing that, and I'm not sure why. But here are some things that I'm thankful for everyday:

My family. Without their support I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing today. I know that we don't always see eye to eye on everything, but I do know that they will love me no matter what.

My friends. There are people on this planet who aren't related to me and yet will still always be around. That is comforting beyond words, especially for a quiet little introvert like me.

My boyfriend. That boy does not know how special he is to me on so many levels.

My pup. I love that little Lottie dog more than I know how to express. She's just the cutest.

My job. This is the toughest thing I've ever gone through and some days I really feel like walking away but I know that this is where I'm supposed to be. At least for the moment. And plus, my coworkers and students are generally pretty awesome. This school is a great environment to be in everyday.

The weekends. I love those precious days in between work weeks. Especially when I get to share them with Nathan. It just doesn't feel like the weekend when we're not together.

My life. This adventure that I'm on is beautiful. Everyday I get to make new memories in this unique journey that God has blessed me with. I can't remember a time when everything was easy, but all the pieces fit together to make this beautiful picture. I don't get to see the whole thing just yet, but even the ugly parts of life are used to make the whole thing pretty darn rad.

Happy November, guys.

(ps here's a poem that i wrote a couple years ago. i just found it in my archives. it's a gem)

*i just realized that yesterday was the five year anniversary of my little blog! high five!

MUTUAL WEIRDNESS

The term "mutual weirdness" first made its way into my vocabulary shortly prior to the popularization of everybody's favorite Pinterest. And then once I was heavily wading through a multitude of different pin boards, mutual weirdness was everywhere. But I loved it.

I don't know anyone who is normal. In fact, every person I've ever come in contact with is weird. They have all been big, huge weirdos. Unapologetically and enthusiastically weird in every way imaginable.

When I was younger I used to think being weird was a bad thing. I would hate it when someone called me a weirdo. Sometimes it will still catch me a little off guard, but then I remind myself that this person is just as abnormal as I am so it's all good.

I was raised in a family of freaks. We all have our own little quirks and you get the lot of us together and outsiders have loads of trouble following our conversations. The four of us kids can move effortlessly from movie quotes to song lyrics to pop culture references and mostly never miss a beat, but that is a learned skill from growing up together - one that can't be taught. It's like we speak our own little language.

But if you think about it, every family is that way. You all have little inside jokes that other people will just never understand. Being mutually weird is just part of what makes family so beautiful.

And then, yeah, there's that whole thing about finding someone whose weirdness matches yours and then you join up with them in mutual weirdness. I'm pretty sure I found my mutual weirdness.