Life is a funny thing, but don't you think? How it feels like it's always changing and yet somehow always exactly the same. It's the way you get all antsy before a big event or how you hold your breath before you take the plunge in order to do something completely fantastic. It's in the way that you stumble blindly to the shower in the morning a couple minutes after you drag your tired body out of your nice warm bed, or how you always move the driver's seat when you get in and out of the car.
This is my last semester of classes down the Moscow area, and I can hardly believe that I am where I am. It's only day one and already I'm off to a much different start than I had originally planned, but isn't it always that way? It's that thing about life, man. Always different. Always terribly the same. Somebody-very-important and I aren't off to the greatest of starts, having a minor setback in our relationship, and that takes its toll on me mentally. Breathe in, breathe out. Life goes on.
I learned a hard lesson with the PC, you know. And not only was it a hard lesson, but I had to learn it the hard way. I had to test all of the nooks and crannies to see which ones were okay and which ones I should avoid. Some corners were deliciously inviting, but only held empty promises and other corners seemed to be rock hard but in the end they were the better choice. Harder, but better. I think it's always that way.
But the thing that happened to me is that I moved forward and I found SVI and my heart started beating again. As in, I learned that PC wasn't the end of the line, you know, like I first felt he would be. I learned that I could love someone else and that it wasn't terrible or tragic. Life found a new routine and I wasn't so caught up in my past anymore, but instead I could be happy with where I was.
Life takes some interesting turns the longer it goes on. You find that people do things you don't expect them to, and throw you things from left field. But also people can be remarkably wonderful and reach out to you when you need them the most. God designed us for companionship and but wouldn't it be terribly lonely if we had no one to share life with? No one to love? God created Eve for a reason you know, so that Adam wouldn't be alone. We were created to be involved in each others' livelihoods, to offer advice, shoulders, hugs, and caring conversation.
I believe also that if things are meant to be, they will find a way to work. I believe that everything happens for a reason even if you don't understand that reason at the present moment. I believe that people are generally good and I believe that laughter and good company are the best medicine for a broken heart. I believe that the Bible holds the answers we seek and everyone needs to spend time on their knees earnestly seeking their Father and including him in every aspect of their life, because as soon as you start forgetting life gets overwhelming.
So take one step at a time and don't forget to breathe. God has a plan for you and it will be greater than anything you can ever imagine - you have only to take a leap of faith and trust in Him. To love is to be vulnerable, but if you never open yourself up to that chance you will never experience the greatest rewards that come with allowing another person to share your life with you.
Life is short, love big.