Put One Foot In Front Of The Other

Today I want to be different than I was yesterday.

I'm still in bed, btw. I haven't even bothered to brush my hair or teeth and I'm not even wearing the slightest trace amounts of makeup. I know you totally wanted to know that, didn't you?

But today I am driving north. Not to Alaska, although I do like that song by Johnny Horton. I just actually like Johnny Horton. He's a cool dude. But no, I am just going home for what I believe is the third weekend in a row for me. That's weird because I never go home this much.

My reason for going home this weekend was because of something going on with my church and my old high school small group. I got an email yesterday that now I don't even need to worry about it. So my hopes were raised over diddly squat. Don't you love when that happens? But I'll be fine. I promise.

I have my man friend Prince-y who is so good to me. He'll help me through. Remember when I was feeling like this and I was so angry and ridiculous and maybe or maybe not slightly hormonal and crazy? Prince wouldn't leave me because he didn't want me to be alone. I'm not sure exactly why, but maybe he was afraid I would do something stupid like jump off a roof just to see if I could use my arms as wings or something of that ridiculous nature. Which I would never do. Maybe.

Anyway, I want today to be full of awesome. I know Belle is angry with me for pointing out some huge things in her life that she doesn't see eye to eye with me on, but I want to take all of my good and faithful readers advice and start to leave her a little behind. We'll see how it goes.

You know, we've been friends for so long and we're still at the same school and have some of the same friends that it will be super weird to not go to her Halloween parties or rob banks with her anymore. But such as life goes on, I've had to do the same thing with Ariel.

When I heard about so many people not remaining friends with their besties from HS I thought it was because you all moved on with your life and simply lost touch with each other. I never in my wildest dreams imagined that it would be because you actually grew apart and could hardly stand to be friends any longer. That never crossed my little naive mind. I want to live in a blissful world where everyone gets along and they all go to picnics and ride unicorns over rainbows while eating bagel and cream cheese. I love bagels and cream cheese.

Especially the cheese bagels. They smell so good while they are in the toaster!

But how hard is it to move on from friends? To pick up the pieces of a shattered relationship and move forward with your own life? I imagine it's somewhat like breaking up with a boyfriend, only a little more painful because you spent the night at their house and shared deep down secrets and hoped for the future. Planned that your kids would grow up together. You'd each have boys. Two, maybe three of them. And your families would live next door to each other and everything would be hunky dory.

Maybe you do that with boyfriends too, but it's a little different because you always know that maybe, just maybe you won't end up with them forever. But best friends are supposed to stick around. They're not supposed to let you down. What happened to my shoulder to cry on when everything seemed to just suck? She up and changed her mind, she did.

I'm a firm believer in the 'everything happens for a reason' outlook on life. So you know, this happened and it's not so good, but something good will stem from it. God is working in my life, and looking back it's really evident some of His handiwork. Maybe looking back through this I'll see His hand as well. But for now it's just one giant leap of faith that He's going to direct me where I need to go and give what I need. He's never let me down before - ever. So why start now? I mean really.

So today I'm going home which is where I wanted to be when this was happening. I wanted my mommy to love me and hold me and tell me that everything would be okay. And then she would inevitably make me a cookie (read chocolate chip) ooey and gooey and straight out of the oven with a cold glass of 2% because I don't drink that white water crap you all consider to be *cough*milk*cough.* 

And tomorrow I'm going skiing with my ever loving Daddy and I will leave all of my friend vs. ex friend worries off of the mountain. Hopefully I will get to tease my brothers mercilessly because they deserve it and I can bug the heck out of my sister because I haven't done that in a while.

Maybe I'll take my dog for a walk. She's a fatso of a large pup and never gets enough exercise. But I still love her, lard butt and all. And maybe I'll take some sweet pictures with my new camera because one can never have enough pictures. 

If I'm feeling ambitious I may try to figure out the meaning of life and then let you all in on that dirty little secret, but don't push me. I may be feeling lazy instead and just want to lay on the couch and rake in loads of TV until my brain rots and slushes out my ears. 

But for now I'm waiting for Prince to get back from class because we have errands to run. So I should maybe go put on some decent clothes and brush my hair. You know, so I can look presentable or whatever nonsense that is. Maybe I'll even put on mascara. I know he loves when I wear that stuff. I look right purdy I do. And don't you forget it!