Promises or Labels?

The best friend. What does that mean? Isn't your best friend supposed to be the person who you tell your secrets too? The person who loves you no matter what? The person who is just enough like you and just enough different that things are always interesting? You're not suppose to bore each other.

I don't think I have one of those. I think I used to - but as this year has gone on, I feel as though I've lost her. I didn't think it would happen. I didn't think that I could fall out of friendship with someone who's been the person I consider my best friend for many years. But I really feel like it's happening.

Her vocabulary has changed. She got off the phone the other night and tried to say that she was really tired, but her sentence consisted of vulgarities and obsceneties that I hardly appreciated. I turned and asked her why she talked like that. "Because I can," was her mild retort. I rolled my eyes. When every other word is a cuss word, I don't want to hear you talk. Period. I know that being here in college, the F word gets more air time than it ever used to, but I can't stop everyone from saying it. I just don't want to hear it in every conversation - in every sentense. Not impressive.

Belle and Zelda have become increasingly close as the year has gone on as well. And today before Belle left to go visit Beast (her boyfriend) in the great city of Walla Walla, she told Zelda she would miss her most. That hurt. So much for being the best friend. Here's an idea, if her and Zelda have become such good friends, why I don't I just trade rooms and then she and Zelda can live together forever. I swear, I didn't think it was possible, but I don't know how much I really like Belle lately.

We do way better when we're seperated and not together all the time. Like the weekends, if I see her for a few hours. When we were still in high school being together for a few days was fine as well. But Beast has changed her, and her values and her vocabulary and this new person that I live with - yeah, don't like her so much. I want my best friend back.

All of us are dealing with cabin fever and I know personally I'm just WAITING for the months to pass until I'm OUT of here. Next year I will have a single. Sleeping Beauty and I are going to share a suite all to ourselves sans Belle and Zelda and I'm not going to miss them as of right now. I'm so sick of the poor language, the lost values and the different person that I live with. The months are counting down. And I really think that next year with Belle and I no longer share a dorm room the size of a prison cell - we'll be better off as friends.

My pastor has always said something too that I was thinking about he day. He's often said he thinks that some of us have yet to meet our best friend. I used to think that I was the exception and not the rule. I already found my best friend - Belle. But now, looking at this situation I'm in here now, well. I'm waiting for my best friend. That person that I can be myself around and share values with and not be disgusted by her language and thought pattern. And I say 'her' because I've found a best friend in Prince Charming. It's no wonder I get along better with boys...