Tuesday, April 17, 2012

red hair, don't care

Dudes, I don't even know where to start. There are three weeks left until school is out for the semester and summer school takes over my life. The weather has been just downright lovely though, so how can I really complain?

My life is about to change drastically and I'm having trouble handling that. For one, I keep dreaming about SVI and not just dreams that he makes an appearance in, but dreams where he is a major character. It's hard enough to focus on life without him barging into my dreams every night. It's a nightly reminder that I miss him, and it only makes it worse that we can be in the same room together and he won't say a word to me. Like I don't even exist. And honestly, I don't know why this is bugging me so much lately but even though I try to escape it, I haven't been able to yet. Perhaps I just need more time?

For two, I really don't know if I want to teach after I graduate. Ever. I'm trying to have an open mind that student teaching will change my perspective and things will click and I will have a sudden epiphany that yes! this is what I want to do with my life! But right now that enthusiasm is one illusive jerk, slipping through my fingers and admittedly I'm not doing anything to hold on too tight. I'm just so over being in school, so much so that I don't really care to go back to any sort of school environment.

And finally, dudes, I am too poor for this crap. I just spent 40 dollars to fill my car up with gas so I could go home this weekend. Yuck. I need to get out of school and get a real job where I make more than minimum wage and take home pay checks that are over 200 dollars.

All this stress is making do crazy things like color my hair red and daydream about having enough money to go on a cruise after I graduate with a bachelor's degree in something I'm not sure I even want to pursue. Maybe I'll just become gypsy and go wherever the wind blows me. Plan? Why yes, I believe so. I've got a serious case of wanderlust and getting up at 7 o'clock in the morning every day is not helping.


  1. Sweet Goodness Gracious, I know how you feel! To be fair most of the time you won't know if you really want to teach until 3 years of experience. When you've finally gotten the hang of it and all that jazz.

    And honestly, I'm not sure Student Teaching will make you sure this is what you want to do. It might make you want to not do it... but I hope it doesn't. I hope that it cements your desire to teach.

    Man, the next time I see you I've got some stories to share! Unless the thoughts scare you and I'll avoid my tales of terror. :)

  2. My family is filled with teachers, and they've always said that between year three and five something just clicks. You feel more settled and relaxed so you can enjoy it for what it really is. Hope school gets a little less stressful, and I'm liking the red hair =)


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