Monday, January 24, 2011

It's Time For Bed

I am super duper beyond tired. I'm so tired, that I'm not tired, do you know what I mean? And, plus, as an added bonus, my feet are killing me. Slow, painful death. I need those things that rub your feet because Prince-y won't always do that. And I don't expect him to.

This past week was really rough though, and tomorrow is Monday and I don't want Monday to come. Which is why I'm still up. Because I don't want it to be tomorrow. Even though I'm exhausted.

This semester is going to be the death of me. Of my feet. Of my bank account. Of my sanity. I promise you, I will want to pull out all my hair before spring break even peaks it's ugly little taunting head around the corner. I will throw my shoe at it. And cross my fingers that it gets hurt.

I don't really want to be here, you know, in Moscow. Anymore. I'm almost counting down days until I get to move back to Coeur d'Alene. I'm at least counting down semesters. Three. Including this one. Hopefully. I'm nervous to graduate you know, and get out into the 'real world' and not have to be a student every day of my life anymore. I'm nervous because I don't really know what will happen. But also excited because it will be something different.

I wonder what will my life be like. Will I even be with Princey then? Will we even be friends? Things have been rough and then better and then rough and then a lot better and then kind of rough again, but really only rough when we're in Moscow (and in the case of last summer, camp too) but I think it stems from all the stress and ugliness that is held here. And I can't wait to get away from it.

I've thought about transferring schools, but I really honestly think I will graduate faster if I just stay at the school I'm currently enrolled in. Which is mildly depressing, but whatever. We don't always get what we want.

But I was scrolling through my blog posts from 2008 and 2009 and I really kind of wish I was back there. 2009 anyway. The second half. Life was good. I didn't hate near as many things as I hate now. And that was back when Prince Charming liked to tell me he loved me every day. Now I maybe hear it once or twice a week. What's up with that?

You know though, I have discovered something, that for all our stresses and minor petty arguments, what we've really just lost sight of is making God the center of our relationship. And I think if we can figure out how to get more focused on Him, then things for us will improve immensely, you know? It's not like we've completely forgotten about Him, we've just put him on the back burner, which is so not okay.

We need to find a church in Moscow. Like, really, really badly.

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