Yesterday was horrendous. Absolutely and totally pathetic. It was a day of "if something can go wrong for Natalie, let's DO IT!" With all sorts of exclamation points and neon stars.
Suffice it to say it involved several emotional breakdowns, a parking ticket, being locked out of my dorm room for several hours with only my wallet, car keys and phone, and the separation of my permanent retainer from my tooth that doesn't have a root. (And that's not even everything that went down.)
I finished the day hanging out with Prince Charming even though I technically wasn't supposed to see him until tonight. Whatever. He always makes me feel better after a crappy day, and if we're going to try and be friends and see if this works out then it's only a good thing that he makes me feel better.
I overreact to things that I maybe shouldn't overreact to, and Prince knows how to talk me down from that. I just get to this point where my heart races, and I'm so upset about something that I don't think clearly and therefore make occasionally poor choices and sometimes say things I don't necessarily mean. Usually there is also a lot of unnecessary crying involved as well.
Especially on days where nothing seems to be going to correctly and all I really want to do is crawl back in bed and go to sleep wishing I could have a do-over.
But let's just end on a happy note that today has been exponentially better than yesterday could have ever hoped for, and this weekend should be super fantastic.
Tonight I'm doing whatever I want and tomorrow I'm going to Zelda's to make blankets and watch mockumentaries about teaching. You have no idea the fun that will be had!
So, in conclusion to my experimentation with a Prince Free Monday through Friday that wasn't 100% Prince Free - I think it's necessary for me to have my own time and him to have his own time away from each other doing fun things without the other one present. It's necessary for me to live my life and him to live his life, and we can be friends, and we could even date, but we need to not be all up in each other's business all the time.
I need to let go and relax and just see where God takes me. This week I figured out how I'm beautiful, I felt beautiful without a boy telling me so. This week I decided that I don't want to leave, but if it comes right down to it I'm strong enough to walk away. It's always easier to move on when the other person isn't present in your day to day life.
I also learned that when I'm extremely upset, I go for the comfortable and familiar and despite what's happened between us Prince Charming is both of those things and he will be for a long time, right or wrong.