Thursday, September 23, 2010

Dear Boy

Dear Prince Charming,

This week has been horrible and wonderful and all sorts of other emotions wrapped into one. A week is not long enough to get over a person, but I think it's long enough to help me figure out what I want. From life. From you. From myself.

I figured out that I do still want you. This week has shown me things about myself, retaught me life lessons while skinning my knees and bruising my elbows on sharp corners of emotion. But you have been so nice, and such a good friend lately that during this week I've had time to think about what I needed vs. what I wanted.

At first I was fine. I was pumped. I could do it! I wondered how long that feeling would last, and it went until Wednesday. When I started second guessing myself. Do you miss me? Do you like me? What's going to happen after Friday is over? That kind of thing.

I wondered what you were thinking. What was going through your mind? You've been breaking the rules and talking to me in the evening, but Wednesday you made it all the way to midnight before you contacted me. To me this says: I miss you and I can't not talk to you.

But I know that you don't want anything serious right now, so that got me to thinking. I don't want anything serious right now either. I don't need it. I'm in school, I'm working towards a career, I have homework, and I need to have parts of my life that belong to just me and not you.

However, that being said, I would like to try to date you again. Soon. But with a lot less serious of a relationship. I don't want a ring, I don't want a forever promise, I just want a right now. I want someone to cuddle with and watch movies. Someone to occasionally take me out to dinner, and someone to walk around the mall with holding hands.

I don't know if you want that. I don't know if you would even consider being in a relationship right now (or within a couple weeks, whatever) but I wanted to put the idea out there.

I've done a lot of thinking, crying, moping, laughing, hoping, etc. this week, and I've come to the conclusion that I don't want you to be gone forever. I don't think you want me gone forever either. So would you be willing to attempt to casually date me over the course of the next few months? We'll just take all the pressure off. Take it one day at a time.

Would that be alright? Or am I crazy for asking?

The Girl With Her Heart On Her Sleeve


  1. When you say casual, how casual do you mean?? Casual can be liberating or scary as hell...

  2. good luck with everything. great blog.


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