The Gnome Named Rufstig

It's no secret that I work on campus as the best barista ever. My drinks are all made of awesome, there is absolutely no doubt. So when my friend emailed me about what it was like to be a barista to see if it was something maybe he would enjoy doing, I didn't hesitate to tell him how awesome my job is and some of the perks of being a barista.

I don't think you will fully appreciate my extreme comedic hilarity unless you yourself read our conversation. Then and only then will you understand anything about the title of this post as it seemingly has nothing to with becoming a barista. Or so one might think...

Lets call this friend of mine Zeltor. It doesn't really matter HOW he got that name, other than it's one he's had for a while. So I'm just using it for the plain and simple reason of consistency.

Zeltor Says:
I haven't seen or heard from you in quite some time my dear Natalie. I feel a little left out. What's going on with you? How are you doing?

Cinderella Says:
lol i'm sorry. my life has been chaos lately. i'm sorry you feel left out :( but i'm fine. back at school and working as a barista again this semester. i have three studio art classes and two lecture classes. and i'm super excited about no school on fridays this semester!

Zeltor Answers:
Does being a barista pay well? No School Fridays is epic! 3 Day Weekend EVERY WEEK!

Cinderella Answers:
i make 7.50 ish an hour, plus tips - which is usually five or six dollars at the end of a four hour shift. but i love the customers that i serve, so they make my job worth it. plus the trade is good to know, because it makes you versatile - you can work at any coffee shop anywhere.

Zeltor Thinks:
I've thought about being a barista myself. Might not be a bad idea.

Cinderella Excites:
oooh! be a barista! it's not a bad gig at all.

Zeltor Innocently Asks:
Where did you get your barista license?

Cinderella Laughs Maniacally As She Types Says:
bwaha. barista licenses are hard to come by. you have to go the intergalactic space station and talk to the gnomes on planet Blonograk. The leader's name is Rufstig and if you get on his bad side he will send his army of animated sporks for your soul. On top of all of that, there is endless paperwork to fill out. You need to know your mother's mother's mother's father's last name, the year in which the world begun, how fast a rock would fall off of the edge of the moon and land on the surface pluto, and your imaginary brother's pet tiger's name (which coincidentally is NEVER hobbes).

on a more serious note, you don't need a license to become a barista. you just need someone who will hire you and give you the needed training.