Okay, so I like to think of myself as having a good head on my shoulders, I'm pretty likable, I don't really try to be mean. I like to think I have some sort of tact so that I know how to gingerly approach some subjects and blatantly call out others when deemed appropriate.
But you know what I feel like I completely suck at?
Knowing what to do and say when someone is in a terrible and also when that someone is a person that you care about a lot and want to make their world full of sunshine, rainbows, happy unicorns and an endless supply of candy.
You know?
But when said person is in a crummy mood in which they intend to storm about the room and throw things, I feel like I lock up. I don't know what to say or how to say anything. I'm basically at a loss for words (shocking right?).
All I feel like I can do is pray. Pray that God tells me what to say to them, if words are needed at all. Pray that God will help them figure stuff out. Pray for peace. Pray for wisdom. Pray for their sanity. Pray for my sanity....
I know when I'm really angry and my world is filled with rainy, slushy, thunderstorm-y, thrash about the house like a wild animal who's idea of fun is to rip the upholstery on your couch to shreds, I probably just need a hug. Unless you're the person who dropped the bomb. Then I don't want you to touch me. I might shank you.
Unfortunately for this remedy, not everyone likes being touched when they're on the warpath. I know this. But that just makes it harder for me to help out when people I know are sunshine, rainbow and happy unicorn-less.
Asking 'are you okay' over and over is just going to be annoying. Asking 'how can I help you' doesn't always elicit a response. Sometimes I just get a grunt in return, if anything at all. If you're working with a talker, things are a little smoother. It's the silent but deadly ones you have to watch out for...
So how do YOU put the candy mountain back in someone's dreary existence? I'm curious. Really.
With my boyfriend, I just wait for him to come to me and ask for help or want to talk. When he is in a bad mood, its best NOT to ask if he is okay or what he needs. Sometimes its the little things that matter, a nice card or flowers, a short email just to say hi and I miss you or love you and even a nice phone call for no reason.
ReplyDeleteI know most of those things also work with my mom when I am trying to cheer her up!
Ugh, I don't think I'll be very helpful with this. Sometimes I just have no idea what to say. And I've been that person that people don't know what to say to and having the wrong thing said to you is almost worse than having nothing said to you. If that makes sense? I guess just offer to help and tell them if they need anything, just let you know? hmm.. I think I am useless, lol
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