Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Slightly Obsessive

So my new obsession, because it changes on a fairly regular basis - just ask anyone who knows me - is a song. Runaway by Avril Lavigne. I'm addicted. I've been playing it over and over and over on YouTube because I'm afraid to try and steal it off limewire while I'm at school. Our school monitors those kinds of things and I'm not a fan of paying thousands of dollars because I downloaded a song without paying for it.

Anyway, I didn't even know this song existed until today. It started when I was listening to a podcast from church. The one from Feb 22 - that's the one Pastor R did title Craving Contentment. Anywho, I was looking for this one - even though I was actually IN church that day - because that's the day TO came to dance. Well, in my Dance 100 class, my grade isn't the best that it could be. SO in order to counteract the subawesomeness that is my grade, I opted for some extra credit. So I asked my Prof if I could write about TO and she said yes. So earlier today, about noon-ish, this was my mission.

I found the podcast just fine, but the problem with the podcast is that it's all audio and no visual. *sigh* So I go to the LCCC website to see if there was a video recording. I'm in luck - or at least I thought I was in luck. There was the link to the video for Craving Contentment except that it was really a lie becuase the video that popped up was NOT in fact Contentment. It was Pastor M with the week prior to's sermon. *huge sigh* Guess I'll have to go off memory about what exactly it looked like, but I have her interview from the podcast, so I can write about her motives. Go me!

Well then I am sitting there, extra credit paper mostly written, but I don't remember what song she danced to. Back to the internet. Pastor R says it's titled Beautiful and I'm thinking it's the Bethany Dillon song, but I have to find it now to make sure. Like my Prof is going to know the difference, but I feel like satisfying my curiousity and love of acuracy (haha, love of acuracy. that's a joke you see, because actually I will argue with you whether I'm wrong or not). Anyway, I find the song on playlist.com because i LOVE that cite and I've given up on myspace. Lately myspace only has pieces of songs or they'll have the link, but no song. Most of the time they have every song EXCEPT the one you want. But PlayList has more often than not had the song I'm looking for. But anyway, I digress...

So I find the song. And then I find another Bethany Dillon song I love - All I Need. I added that one to my playlist in the side bar if you care to listen. :-) Anyway, I have to back track a little before I can tell you the rest of the story. So I guess where I started from wasn't the best place to start? And then I suppose I actually lied to you when I said that it all started from the podcast. Sorry about that. Move on. Ha, ha. Anyway, I was Facebooking earlier because I am what people refere to as epically awesome (aka lame and lazy) and I took this FB Quiz to further proove my awesomeness. Well, the quiz was title 'what song are you?' and being the music junkie that I am thought "Oh awesome! Let's see what lame song it gives me?" I clicked the multiple choice answers and it spit out that I am indeed the song Hot by Avril Lavigne. See where I'm going with this?

So after I get my Bethany Dillon fix, I get all curious about this Avril song because I've never heard of it before. So I type in the song and artist and have me a listen. It's a good song I suppose, but that just got me in wont of more Avril because I like her voice. So I erase the song title from the search bar so that I get a plethora of Avril songs. Then I just start clicking random Avril songs because music junkie though I am, I'm not a religious follower of every artist out there and there's a fair chunk of music that I don't know even exists. Although I suppose by admitting that I don't know it exists that I'm really admitting it does exist because now it's been mentioned. How's that for brain warping? Ha, ha.

So I click Innocence. Not impressed. It's a little too slow right off the get-go. And I don't mean to offend here, if you like that song it's fine. But I was just in the mood for something a little more upbeat. I could have clicked Girlfriend, but in the interest of exposing myself to new and different sounds I was going for titles I didn't recognize. I clicked Why next, but that one was a little too slow for me also. What luck I was having!

And then I saw it. On the bottom of the second page. Runaway. Going off of my past experiences, I hesitated a little before clicking it, not really wanted to get a strike three with another slow song. But as the cursor hovered over the link, I decided to give it a try. And my ears were increadably pleased.

I mean, it's not everyday that you find a song that applies to your life basically to a T. Sometimes there are songs that just pop out of seemingly nowhere and say BOOM! HERE I AM TO RELATE YOUR LIFE! LOVE ME! And that's exactly what this song did. I've been feeling so overwhelmed by just about everything lately. I mean really. School is starting to finish up for the year so I have all these projects to do, and finals will be here before I know it. To top it off I have work and I juggle coming home weekends with schoolwork that usually waits til Sunday afternoon before I even look at it. Plus with registration for next year looming in front of my face, that adds even more pressure to the 'should i really stay with this major' angst that will not just go away.

And so when I heard this chorus, my heart smiled. My lips parted. My eyes lit up. And I drank it in. Because it's EXACTLY what I want to do RIGHT NOW.

I feel so alive
I can't help myself
Don't you realize?

I just wanna scream and lose control
Throw my hands up and let it go
Forget about everything and run away, yeah
I just wanna fall and lose myself
Laughing so hard it hurts like hell
Forget about everything and run away, yeah

And now I've been listening to it for the better part of my day. It makes me want to run outside. It makes me want to drive over the speed limit with all the windows down, music blaring and just forget about everything. It makes me want to leave this place and never look back. Just drop what I'm doing and get out of town.

I probably won't do that though, because the student in me knows that I need to stay here and finish out the year and that this summer I'm going to have work. But it's one of my greatest desires to one day flip a coin to determine my destination and take a trip with only left turns. Well, mostly left turns. Possibly I might sneak a few right turns in there - but I'm a rebel. :-)

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