Just Trying To Survive

Not talking fixes nothing. But my problem is that I don't know what to say. What am I supposed to feel? How should I talk? What's going to fix this feeling? I have no answers. I hardly ever have answers. I was surprised that I had the answer to a math question that one of my friends asked me. I'm a fountain of useless information - but when it comes to something practical, like advice, I don't have anything to offer myself.

I know part of my issue is trying to figure it out on my own. Truth be told, I haven't really prayed about it either. This whole situation is just not a great one. I'm starting to feel ostracized because I don't know what to say to my parents, so I haven't called them. They haven't called me either though.

Stress is affecting me. I could feel it this morning when I had a stomach ache and didn't feel like getting out of bed. I could feel it all day when I just didn't feel like moving. I should have headed to the gym and ran for a few miles, but instead I just laid on my bed and watched the tele. I am ridiculous.

I know when this is all over, we'll have something to look back on and smile and laugh about. It'll be a source of teasing for my dad. It'll blow over. It's just a matter of doing what needs to be done to get there. Everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die.

Random Fact: The average person wastes 5 years of their life standing in line and 3 years waiting at red stop lights.