I recently downloaded the Timehop app on my iPhone and it has been bringing me lots of laughter these days. This time travel thing has reminded me of just how darn funny I used to be - and possibly still am.
Like today, for instance, 3 years ago I posted the status "If you can't make money, make out with somebody" and I kind of scrunched up my brows and wondered what the heck I had been talking about. So I took to the googles and typed in my status.
Turns out, it's lyrics to a song. David Bradley, more specifically.
Three years ago on January 12th I apparently posted "I plan on staying in bed and dying today." Which just, if you know me, I was channeling my inner Lilo that day and avoiding my college classes and any semblance of responsibility because three years ago I could pull that kind of crap.
Lately, because it's January and February, my timehops have consisted of my really obnoxious break up with Matt statuses and holy buckets you guys, I just want to apologize all over again for that. I was...I don't even know how to put it... Pathetic, maybe?
And I literally posted almost every single thought I had onto Facebook - did I have no boundaries? How even did I retain my friends because good golly I was just dragging it oooouuuuutttttttt. So, thanks for not getting sick of me and never speaking to me again.
I have been thinking about that time in my life though. For the obvious reasons and the not so obvious. You see, when I first had a Facebook, I was also still in my myspace phase as well. I was just fresh out of high school and there weren't really any rules for the internet yet. At least not in my world. So I used my Facebook page as an online mini diary to supplement all my lamenting on my blog about this terrible, horrible, no good thing I was going through. I never realized at the time that those things would live on forever inside the bowels of the interwebz.
Now, I look at people who still post every little thing that pops in their head or post every picture they take on the cell phone and I think, why? Why are you doing this? Why do we feel compelled to share every aspect of our lives with people we really don't hardly know?
And maybe I'm hypocritical because here I am, posting a blog essay and sending it off into the world wide web where people I may or may not know can read my own personal thoughts. But hey, these days I am more careful about exactly what I'm putting out there.
I mean, I could write about all the things I've done lately and how work went and what sorts of things I ate today, which actually would just be coming full circle to when I started writing and was still trying to figure out my voice and just exactly what I was going to do in this little internet corner.
But you know what, there's also something stupidly beautiful about seeing the sort of annoying things I used to put into cyber space because it reminds me that I used to be this little naive person who still believed in all the good in the world and had a lot of growing to do.
It reminds me that I've come such a long way, and I've overcome so many obstacles.
And even though those days were hard to live through, I came out on the other side stronger and with a clearer vision of what I wanted out of life and how I was going to do it.
So maybe I was crazy and a little pathetic and incredibly naive, but I was also displaying my very human emotions and learning how to be the girl that I was created to be. Am I glad I posted all those obnoxious statuses to Facebook all those years ago? Not necessarily. But I'm also not really mad about it, so there's that.