Wednesday, November 5, 2014


i have nothing really to say except that we're not that far in to daylight savings time and already i'm ready for it to be gone. i hate that it gets dark at 4:30 and i hate that i have no choice but to just keep trudging on through until we make it to the other side. i'm not ready for cold or for snow or for scraping ice off my windshield. this time of year serves as an annoying reminder that i want so badly to move.

this time of year just kind of makes me feel crappy all over and i get grumpy and irritable and take it out on people who don't deserve it and then i'm the one that gets upset because i'm being so impossible and i frustrate myself.

it's super fun sounding, i know.

but in all seriousness, i need some routine and stability back into my life and that's starting with this new job i got going on. set hours are good for my brain. i'll get myself back soon, i just have to re-figure out who winter-time-natalie is because that girl is always a foreign being to my old summer self.

i want to watch a movie and cuddle with a boy and drink some hot apple cider. and that's what i have to say about that.

nathan and i climbed a mountain the other day. it's a long steep hike and it was so good for our bodies to be outside and moving. i often liken climbing a mountain unto living life, but it's also really similar to relationships. (mountain climbing is just maybe a metaphor for everything?)

except the more i think about it, the more i think it's true. life is hard and you have to work to get through the tough before you can appreciate the view and so it is with relationships.

people are complex individuals and as such we are always growing and stretching and changing. and climbing a mountain with nathan was a trip that we took together in order to work towards the same goal: reaching the top of the mountain.

real relationships are not always rainbows and butterflies, and nathan and i have had our setbacks, but there we were - at the top of our mountain, sore from the steepness of the end of the hike and celebrating with a beer and a coconut water - but together. we make compromises and we help each other on up the mountain.

this time last year nathan was still in school, living two hours away from me and trading off weekend visits. words can't describe to you how very glad i am that he is here now and i get to see him every day. but with that move it brought a new mountain and we have had to adjust to being together almost all the time. i know sometimes i get cranky and impossible and he loves me anyway. and i'm really glad that i'm climbing this mountain with him.

i think sometimes i don't tell him how i feel often enough. talking with real mouth words is just more difficult for me than i like to admit. my words get all caught up in my throat and i don't honestly know how to get them out. but you guys, i am straight in love with this guy. and even though this weather is cold and it gets dark way to early and i get more irritated with some things than i should, i'm always glad to see his face and to be in his arms or sitting next to him on the couch at the end of a long day.

//i know this all of a sudden just turned into a kind of sappy love post, but i reserve the right to do that since this is my blog and all. hashtag sorry not sorry ;)

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