Sunday, April 6, 2014


Let's talk about the last half of my spring break, shall we? Because it's almost over. Those precious hours of freedom are starting to dwindle...and I know I should be feeling ready to go back and maybe even excited, but I'm just so totally not. Teaching is exhausting. Is it summer yet?

And also, this week. I have been a bit of a grump practically all week long I think, and poor Nathan has put up with it like a champ. There are so many reasons why I like this boy, and just, you guys. He treats me with love even when I'm pouting like a toddler.

This week I learned something about myself, and also got a billion more reasons to be really happy with the relationship I have with Nathan.

First, let's talk about a friend I have. I met up with her for a short amount of time this past week to exchange some articles of clothing and chat about life since we hardly see each other anymore. She was having some issues with the man in her life. They were some similar challenges to things I had experienced in my previous relationships. These things they were dealing with, in my opinion, are things of an immature nature.

While I was listening to her talk about their argument and subsequent resolution it made me incredibly grateful that I don't have to deal with those kinds of things with Nathan. It also made me realize that I have a much more mature relationship than maybe I'd realized.

I don't often get upset with my boyfriend. We don't really fight. I don't think I've ever yelled at him, nor had him yell at me. I can count the times I have been mad at him on one hand and I don't even use all the fingers.

This weekend I was a total grump with him though. It was the first week that Elder Scrolls Online had been released and Nathan used his free time to play that stupid game instead of hang out with me for the first three days it was out.

Hence all those movies that I watched. (Which was nice, but, you know.)

It made me remember what it was like to be second rate to a video game. I dealt with that a lot with Matt. He made me feel really insignificant and incredibly unimportant in comparison to his video games. I was often left to my own devices while he spent hours upon hours in front of a TV screen, mad at the lag or the cheating players or the computer. Something was always upsetting him, and if I was there trying to talk to him then I became something else to be mad at. Consequently, we fought all the time and my self worth went down the toilet (for a lot of reasons).

So I spent a fair chunk of this week reliving what that hell felt like, although Nathan's reactions towards me are so vastly different than Matt's. Which is just another reason that Nathan is so much better for me than I could have imagined.

When Matt would vomit words of hate in my direction and focus all his attention on the game at hand, I would go into another room and hide from him. As a confrontation loathing introvert, this was the only appropriate response I could think of. He would also never come looking for me. Nathan has never ever spoken to me the way that Matt would, but still, in his hours of completing quests I would retreat to other rooms in the house. I had given up going somewhere else for my spring break in order to spend time with my favorite man and he was favoring the computer, so it really hurt my feelings. I am pretty horrid at talking about how I feel, so naturally, hiding was the thing to do. Old habits, I suppose.

But he would come to find me. And he would kiss me on the cheek or the forehead or whatever part of my head he could reach based on what position I was in and he would ask me to come back into the other room and sit by him because he missed me. The fact that he would seek me out means more to my damaged psyche than he will probably ever know.

I didn't always go though, because I am a brat. Also because my love language is quality time and I need your undivided attention for a little while in order for my love cup to be filled. Just sitting next to me on the couch in the same room while we are both doing two different things will only hold me over for so long before I start to poke you, tickle you, hit you with a pillow or do other annoying things in oder to get attention because I'm probably only four years old on the inside.

Yesterday and today Nathan hardly touched his game. We went on a run, we went out for sushi, we watched Beauty and The Beast, we went to the mall, and we kicked the soccer ball around in the backyard. It was much nicer and way more enjoyable for me than sitting on the couch watching old movies while he's on the computer.

Call me old fashioned, but when did technology start being the priority over human interaction?

I'm glad that this week is a rarity. That it's not always only video games all the time. I'm glad that I have a guy who treats me like he loves me even when I'm throwing an introvert's version of a temper tantrum. And I'm also really sad this week is over. I really like having that guy around - video games and all.


  1. This was really sweet :) And I'm glad he changed it up a bit the last day or so. I frowned a little at your last post when it sounded like he was paying a slightly disproportionate amount of attention to the Elder Scrolls. I'm really happy for you that those moments are the exception :)

    Summer is coming!! Hang in there!


    1. i'm beyond glad that these are the exceptions, haha.

      43 more days to go! (not that i counted this morning or anything...)

  2. You say you're an introvert but you do a great job of expressing emotions, at least through blogging :) but I can really relate with the quality time aspect, too (I've read the book so I know what you're talking about ;))

    1. introverts tend to be much more comfortable expressing themselves through writing instead of verbal communication. I can much more easily put my thoughts and feelings into words when i am able to sit down and write them out instead of the pressure having to say words in that moment. for whatever reason, in conversation, for me forming words with my mouth is much harder than using my fingertips. :)

  3. Seriously, the longer I know you the more I realize that we are SO alike! I can enjoy a good video game or two, but if I got to choose, I'd pick hanging out technology free everytime. The second best to a video game thing has only happened one time with Jim (and it was an accident.. lost track of time), I overeacted hugely and he still came and found me, bringing flowers and chocolate to boot ;) That brother of yours is a good man

    1. Those pesky video games! HA! And I love technology free hang out time more than just about anything else, seriously. I knew I liked you ;)

    2. Somewhere in the male genome is located the "bad priorities" gene. Most of the time it can be suppressed, but sometimes, just like a cold-sore, it rears its ugly head, usually set off by some new video-game or other equally enticing time-suck, not by a cold, but then we realize the folly of our ways and suppress said trait again, become a normal functioning human being again... Yes, I just compared being a guy to herpes... I feel wrong....


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