every storm runs out of rain

Every break up is different. The emotions are all similar, but the situations are not the same and the people are usually pretty different too. Take my break up with PC for instance, I was sick. I was unmotivated. I thought the world had ended. It was all terribly tragic in a very angst-y teenage girlish way. But I had never had a real break up in my life before and I really didn't know how to handle myself.

Then when things ended with SVI, I was upset for a few days because all break ups suck. I got involved with my friends, with church, and I stayed busy. It was nice to be distracted from what little pain I was feeling. I learned how to be happy as just myself and that there was hope on the horizon.

This breakup feels less like SVI and more like PC. But it's definitely not the same as either of them. Especially because of the reason behind the break up and my feelings towards what has transpired in the last few days.

Would you believe me if I told you that I was already feeling better? I know, I'm surprised about it too. Eating is still something of a chore for me, but my disposition about this whole situation has flipped from somewhat depressed and lethargic to mildly cheery and able to function outside of the house. I haven't cried about it since yesterday morning, and that is definitely a conquered obstacle for me.

I think what really helped me out was having someone to talk to about this whole mess. I made an appointment with a lady at church, which is probably one of the smartest things I've ever done. It helped to have an outsider's perspective and advice from someone who's been there and done that. I came out of that meeting with a much clearer perspective on my life. I'm still very far away from having everything figured out, but I know I'm now on the right path.

There are a lot of big decisions ahead of me. I have quite a few things that need to have conclusions reached, but right now there's no rush. Things are in God's hands and I'm learning to let Him regain control of my life. Which is scary, but my word this year is courage and I have to actually do it. Courage is such a hard word to have chosen but I think it will definitely help make me a stronger person.

I may not be all the way out of the woods yet, but I'm definitely getting there. And I also don't know what will happen in the future, but I think that everything will always work out for the best.