Friday, February 24, 2012
I don't want to hold back from life. I want to squeeze everything I can out of this time I have here on earth. Sometimes I miss Somebody-Very-Important, but I really feel like he doesn't want to be part of my life. He said that he wanted to be friends, but I'm not sure if he meant that. And that's really alright with me, because that's his decision to make.
I do miss the fun that we used to have together, going out to breakfast, going to church together, and just hanging out with one another. In all honesty I wish we would have just been friends from the get go because I think that we would work better that way. But as it stands, all I can do is live my own life and make my own decisions.
I forgot how fun it was to be single, though. I don't have to report to anyone and I don't have to include another person in my decision making processes. I can go wherever I want whenever I want and I don't have to worry about how a certain person feels about that. It's a little bit liberating, to say the least.
I don't want to date someone else this semester, not when I'm just going to up and leave in June. And I'm liking exploring myself, my life, my likes, dislikes, and favorites. I'm doing things that I want to do, which involves creating art, loving Jesus, hanging out with my friends, doing things I've always wanted to do, and doing things I'm scared to do.
Life isn't perfect, by any means, but it's way more fun to go out and do things than it is to sit and be miserable. Even when I have bad days, I'm still really happy. Things are changing, which is scary, and I'll be graduating school soon and moving, but that's what is so exciting.
The world is wide open for me, and nothing is stopping me from going out and doing things. I have been so busy lately with three studio classes and two jobs, but I don't think I would want it any other way. I am truly a wild one running free.