Genuine Disreguard For Organizational Patterns of Writing a Blog Post

I have seriously typed out like fifty intros to this post, and I keep erasing them. They sound good in my head and then my fingers turn dyslexic and make the things I type sound dumb and not at all what I wanted to convey. So inevitably I delete my previous words and write something new. 

I don't even know if I really want to post anything, but I feel like my blog has been so depressing lately and I want to share something happy. My problem is that I just don't know what to say that's happy. Everything has been depressing lately. 

My job, some aspects of school, my "friends" etc. You all read me. You all know. 

I thought about maybe sharing some information about Chuck Close with you all because I have to give a presentation on his artwork tomorrow, but I don't know really how interested you would be in that, and I'm still rooting through the loads of information I've uncovered about him so my post would likely be unorganized. 

But I think most of my posts are unorganized due to the fact that I don't post premeditated ideas. I just click the 'new post' button and then type whatever flows into my pretty blonde brain. Sometimes there are things that have been weighing on my mind and consequently they come out in my blog. Or other times I report about my weekend and the things that I do. 

I really don't think those posts are my best work. Actually I think that sometimes those posts are the most boring, so when I write about them I make sure to include lots of pretty pictures to hold your attention. In a way I'm bribing you to read my blog. 

I'm not above bribery. How does it feel to be bribed into reading a post? 

And proof of my lack or organizational skills is that I was going to go in a whole different direction and talk about how I don't know what my 'best' posts would be, but then I started talking about bribery and didn't know how to fit the 'best' ordeal back into the post layout. Hence this paragraph. 

That was supposed to be transitional, but I'm not sure how well it worked. Sometimes my brain takes the weirdest routes to come to a conclusion. 

One time I was thinking about Twilight and how much it bugs me that leaders of the high school youth group endorse a book that completely goes against things that the Bible has to say, and I was thinking of bringing it up to my Pastor and then I imagined that he asked me to speak on stage about it to increase awareness of this issue and then I thought about what shirt I should wear onstage. I decided I would wear one that I saw at Sower's which is a local store. It was black and was a spoof off of the Twilight font. I thought it would make the biggest impact. 


Obviously that never happened.

And I'm going to kill Prince Charming if he keeps reading over my shoulder. No, I won't kill him actually. I'd miss him. But seriously. I hate that. It makes me feel obligated to write something incredibly witty and hilarious and insightful so that I will increase the wonderment and awe other people hold me for me as they watch my genius unfold, but then that sort of stresses me out and the cortisol my body produces makes my brain and fingers cramp so then I freeze and just sit in front of the computer not typing anything while impatient onlookers await the awesomeness to take on word form. 

My heart rate increases. If I ever suffer from a debilitating heart defect I will blame Over The Shoulder Readers and their impatience to wait until I've typed out my feelings instead of eating them and edited my thoughts into some sort of coherent sentence instead of just a bunch of hob gobble that no one understands except me. 

Hey now. Einstein was all sorts of smart, but the man wore penny loafers until he died because he didn't know how to tie his shoes.

I'm entitled to incoherent sentences. Especially when I'm tired and my spoken vocabulary is on a kindergarten plane at best. By that time I usually just need to curl up under a blanket and shut my eyes for about eight hours or so. Longer if I can manage. 

I think if I start off by telling you that I couldn't decide what to write in this post, I feel better about it because I took the pressure off of having to perform like a monkey in a cage and dance for all of you because I have to be awesome and made of epic win. Although I'm just naturally that amazing all the time. Psyche. 

Haha. Psyche. I haven't used that word in a long time at the end of a sentence to let the reader/listener know that I was faking them out. 


Listener? Here's where my brain went when I typed that word:

Listener? Like podcast listener? I don't do podcasts. I don't even do vlogs. Mostly because I hate the sound of my voice. Should I do a podcast? Should I post a vlog? Would my readers like that? Do they want to become listeners? I don't know. I'll type my thought process and see what kind of feedback I get. Maybe that will sway me one way or the other. Sway...as in persuade...is that even how you spell it for my intended meaning? I have no clue.

Whatever.

It's time for me to leave you know so you can soak in all of this important information. Also probably you are annoyed that I typed this much and want me to just stop typing so you can go read about how to solve world hunger, obtain world peace and cure cancer. You know, big important stuff.