Reflections

Isn't it sad when people you know become people you knew? How when you run into them a couple years later, they pretend at first that they didn't see you? And then they just make up some rather dumb small talk that no one on Earth cares about and has nothing to do with what either of you are thinking?

I saw T with what I'm guessing is his girlfriend this morning on my way to 8:00 class. I had just said bye to D and turned around to see T's tall frame next to a pretty brunette short girl. He was holding her hand and then made a joke as if to push her into the street, but pulled her back to him. He looked at me, and then looked back and let go of the girl.

"Fine, don't say hi. I see how it is," I remarked, trying to make light of what I was feeling inside.

"Oh," he says, as though he hasn't seen me standing there. "How are you?"

"Cold," I answer. The ground is covered in frost, the sun is shining, but the buildings are casting enormous shadows over the frozen ground, and it's just about 7:45 in the morning. No shocker that it's cold outside.

"Well," he starts, but that's all I hear because then he just mumbles something incoherrant that sounds sort of like 'yes it is cold, it's the morning.' As to which I answer with an "It's true" and walk away. Funny how when he was talking to me he put the girl aside. Funny how it seems he doesn't want to have anything to really do with me anymore.

Two years ago we were pretty involved in each other's lives. But then he graduated from high school and left us all behind - he left me behind. I missed T terribly at first, but gradually I got over it. And now, this episode today, along with other before it, has shown me just how much I don't need him. I was a part of his life, and when he left he didn't try to keep me in it. As far as I'm concerned it's his loss. But I don't want to see him anymore. I don't want to deal with how things just sort of fell apart between us. He doesn't seem to care all that much and so why should I?

Random Fact: People change. For better. For worse. For different. Change in inevitable - except from vending machines.