I have been reading all the different articles about why 50 Shades of Grey is a terrible movie and shouldn't be a box office smash because of a myriad of reasons and I have been strongly debating within myself as to whether or not I should add my little opinion to the giant banter that is going on in to the depth of the internet, so here we are I guess?
When Twilight was a big thing I wrote a small little piece about why I didn't believe in that movie and I guess it's time to do the same thing for Christian Grey. I was concerned with Twilight because it portrayed Bella as some innocent little girl who needed saving and Edward Cullen as this stalker man/boy who had to constantly resist the urge to suck out all of her blood. It portrayed what was to be perceived as an abusive relationship, and yet women of all ages flocked to see the movie and ogle over RPatz's body. Team Edward and Team Jacob paraphernalia erupted everywhere and for a while you couldn't go in any place without being bombarded by teenaged vampires and werewolves.
And then it all sort of blew over and people moved on and the craze ended.
But here we are again, faced with another glorification of spousal abuse and the women folk of America are just all over it. Christian Grey this and Christian Grey that. Christian Grey is upping our opinions of what true gentlemen are supposed to be. Christian Grey is what every man should aspire to. Umm, what? What the hell, people. What the hell is wrong with you?
Do you really want to be placed in Anastasia's shoes? Do you want someone to stalk you and beat you and sexually assault you? I know, I know, I know. That's not all there is to the story. I've read it in a million places around the internet, many women of all ages defending poor Christian Grey for his upbringing and he comes around in the end and actually loves her! It's really a beautiful story if you read all the books!!
Really?
Wait. Really?
It's a beautiful love story???
If you were in her shoes and all of this was happening to you, would you actually stay with Christian? And why? Why are we romanticizing his behavior? Why are we deeming this acceptable and allowing it into our every day lives?
Do you want your daughters or friends or relatives to go through what Anastasia goes through with Christian? If you had a friend who was in an abusive relationship like that, who's significant other was a dominating spirit, would you not speak up? Would you tell her to just endure it because he might love her in the end? If she puts up with his bullshit long enough??
WOULD YOU SERIOUSLY AGREE WITH THIS BEHAVIOR IF IT WAS ACTUALLY TANGIBLE TO YOU??
I would hope the answer is no. I would hope that you would have the guts to stand up for what is right and get your girl friend out of that terrible situation.
But I guess as long as it's just in a book we're all alright with it. I guess as long as it's not touching you, then it's fine. If it's all in your imagination then what's the harm?
The harm is that what you let into your life will start to take hold if you are exposed long enough. If you glorify this behavior in a book you may not mind so much if something like were starting to happen to you, because this book made you think it was a little sexy.
But then when your abuser's behavior doesn't change the way a fictional character's changes, well now you are stuck. Do you want other people to laugh at you and say "Well, honey, i'm sorry but you picked this, remember? You signed the damn contract!"
Please.
People, if you aren't concerned with the crazy dominating and over-powering sex and pornography that take place in this book, be concerned with how the women are reacting to Mr. Christian Grey. That man needs professional help, not an innocent girl to trap into his sadistic world.
This kind of behavior is not okay. This kind of relationship isn't something to aspire to or glorify or romanticize. It's something that actually happens to real women around the world. It's something we should be concerned about. No daughter, sister, cousin, mother, friend, or enemy should experience this type of treatment.
Women are just worth more than that.
You are worth more than that.
/end rant
Showing posts with label courage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label courage. Show all posts
Thursday, February 12, 2015
Monday, April 15, 2013
mondays are my least favorite
Mondays I think are my least favorite day of the week. They always come too quickly to end the weekend and they force me back into reality. And reality generally just kind of sucks, do you know? There is so much going on that I don't write about here, and it's really not my favorite.
I used to write about everything I felt on this blog, but lately I've been keeping all those questioning thoughts and inward wrestling ideas in a private journal. I'm not sure if that's better, but at least it's something. At least it has potential to help me sort out my own thoughts and feelings - although sometimes that doesn't help. Sometimes no matter what words get put on those lined pages, I still feel a little lost. I still feel a little foggy. I still feel a little directionless.
It's not in every aspect of life though, you know. I've figured some things out. And I know how I feel about certain stuff. I'm still not good at talking about how I feel - writing is one thing but verbalizing is another. I think maybe that's because I feel like if I put feelings into words and confide them in another person then that means they are real. That means I am vulnerable. That means that people can hurt me. And that is terrifying.
I'm scared to hear answers that I don't want to hear. I'm scared to have discussions that I don't want to have. I'm scared to make decisions that I don't want to make. I'm worried that the hard thing and the right thing might be the same - and I don't really want to choose either one. In my mind things are black and white and I can either make this decision for that result or I can make that decision for this result. Often I forget the grey areas and I always expect the worst possible outcome.
Seriously you guys, it gives me stomach aches.
I suppose that's why I resort to putting up walls and stuffing my feelings down deep inside. I'm afraid to feel things because I could be wrong, or I could be the only one, or I could be crazy. I hesitate to ask the tough questions because I'm not sure I want to know the answers. Part of me wishes I could just run away. Far away. Leave everything behind, buy a ticket and just go.
I never thought that growing up would be this messy. It never occurred to me that it would be difficult - you know? People grow up all the time, I thought, how hard can it be? And really, on the positive side of this I know I can do it and that I will be just fine. One day I'll be happy again and all this stuff will be a memory. One day I'll fly again, but for now I'm still cleaning my feathers.
I spend a lot of time wondering what God is doing with me. Why am I here? What's the point? And I suppose that if I stop to really listen, and give it plenty of time, then I'll be able to figure it out. I guess I didn't realize that when I chose courage as my word of the year I would really be putting that into some serious play because I can tell that in the near future that word is going to be a prominent fixture in my life.
I used to write about everything I felt on this blog, but lately I've been keeping all those questioning thoughts and inward wrestling ideas in a private journal. I'm not sure if that's better, but at least it's something. At least it has potential to help me sort out my own thoughts and feelings - although sometimes that doesn't help. Sometimes no matter what words get put on those lined pages, I still feel a little lost. I still feel a little foggy. I still feel a little directionless.
It's not in every aspect of life though, you know. I've figured some things out. And I know how I feel about certain stuff. I'm still not good at talking about how I feel - writing is one thing but verbalizing is another. I think maybe that's because I feel like if I put feelings into words and confide them in another person then that means they are real. That means I am vulnerable. That means that people can hurt me. And that is terrifying.
I'm scared to hear answers that I don't want to hear. I'm scared to have discussions that I don't want to have. I'm scared to make decisions that I don't want to make. I'm worried that the hard thing and the right thing might be the same - and I don't really want to choose either one. In my mind things are black and white and I can either make this decision for that result or I can make that decision for this result. Often I forget the grey areas and I always expect the worst possible outcome.
Seriously you guys, it gives me stomach aches.
I suppose that's why I resort to putting up walls and stuffing my feelings down deep inside. I'm afraid to feel things because I could be wrong, or I could be the only one, or I could be crazy. I hesitate to ask the tough questions because I'm not sure I want to know the answers. Part of me wishes I could just run away. Far away. Leave everything behind, buy a ticket and just go.
I never thought that growing up would be this messy. It never occurred to me that it would be difficult - you know? People grow up all the time, I thought, how hard can it be? And really, on the positive side of this I know I can do it and that I will be just fine. One day I'll be happy again and all this stuff will be a memory. One day I'll fly again, but for now I'm still cleaning my feathers.
I spend a lot of time wondering what God is doing with me. Why am I here? What's the point? And I suppose that if I stop to really listen, and give it plenty of time, then I'll be able to figure it out. I guess I didn't realize that when I chose courage as my word of the year I would really be putting that into some serious play because I can tell that in the near future that word is going to be a prominent fixture in my life.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
be brave
I am not good about keeping up with new year resolutions. Actually, I kind of hate the idea and I know I am far from alone in that. So I tried something completely new last year and ended up really enjoying the way things played out for me. I picked a theme word for 2012 - Explore.
During the year I was intent on exploring myself. In the early months of the year I was exploring beautiful things about my personality, my likes, my dislikes. Having just come out of a relationship it was a good experience for me - exploring myself as myself with just myself for company.
The middle months of the year became about exploring the transition from being independent and on my own to moving back into my parents' household and starting my last semester of college - student teaching. There were a lot of challenges, some that I had foreseen and some that caught me completely off guard.
Towards the end of the year, as graduation drew closer and then became just a memory, life was more about exploring what happened once school no longer ruled my life and homework was nonexistent. I also started to explore myself again in a relationship that I originally didn't realize would last as long as it has.
Now 2012 is over and I am in need of a new word. I'm partially tempted to pick the same word because "explore" worked so well for me last year. But this year is starting off with some issues I've never navigated before and I'm struggling to find a word that will help me get through all of this.
I threw around words like trust and acceptance and create. Discover, hope, or dream? This year is the first year since I was a child that I have not had to go to school. Worrying about report cards and passing tests is a thing of the past. Now I worry about having to pay back all my student loans and cover the cost of my car insurance. So the word I choose has to be challenging and different, because that's what I'm staring in the face with all these new obstacles.
At first trust seemed like the obvious choice, since, you know, things. The more I thought about it though, the more I became unsure of whether or not that was really what I wanted to challenge myself with this year. It's something I need to work on, but I don't know if I want to give it the confines of 365 days. Which just sort of left me floating with nothing really to fall back on.
Being at a loss for what to do next, I looked up the word trust on thesaurus.com just to see what would happen. I found the word confidence listed among the synonyms. Confidence was a good start, but not quite all the way there. So I clicked on it, and that took me to a list of synonyms for confidence. Which is where I found the word courage and this little light bulb went off in my head.
Courage.
I need to make this year about having the courage to do the right thing, the necessary thing, the different thing, and sometimes even the thing that I don't want to do. I need to have boldness and braveness when it comes to making decisions about my life and my future. Right now this year is full of possibilities for me to be brave and opportunities for me to show courage.
Whether it's having the guts to take a blind leap of faith or just being confident enough to go through life with a purpose, I need to have the courage to do things and stuff and the like. I know there is a purpose for me and for my life, but I just haven't found it yet. So let this year be about becoming a courageous person who lives life on purpose.
During the year I was intent on exploring myself. In the early months of the year I was exploring beautiful things about my personality, my likes, my dislikes. Having just come out of a relationship it was a good experience for me - exploring myself as myself with just myself for company.
The middle months of the year became about exploring the transition from being independent and on my own to moving back into my parents' household and starting my last semester of college - student teaching. There were a lot of challenges, some that I had foreseen and some that caught me completely off guard.
Towards the end of the year, as graduation drew closer and then became just a memory, life was more about exploring what happened once school no longer ruled my life and homework was nonexistent. I also started to explore myself again in a relationship that I originally didn't realize would last as long as it has.
Now 2012 is over and I am in need of a new word. I'm partially tempted to pick the same word because "explore" worked so well for me last year. But this year is starting off with some issues I've never navigated before and I'm struggling to find a word that will help me get through all of this.
I threw around words like trust and acceptance and create. Discover, hope, or dream? This year is the first year since I was a child that I have not had to go to school. Worrying about report cards and passing tests is a thing of the past. Now I worry about having to pay back all my student loans and cover the cost of my car insurance. So the word I choose has to be challenging and different, because that's what I'm staring in the face with all these new obstacles.
At first trust seemed like the obvious choice, since, you know, things. The more I thought about it though, the more I became unsure of whether or not that was really what I wanted to challenge myself with this year. It's something I need to work on, but I don't know if I want to give it the confines of 365 days. Which just sort of left me floating with nothing really to fall back on.
Being at a loss for what to do next, I looked up the word trust on thesaurus.com just to see what would happen. I found the word confidence listed among the synonyms. Confidence was a good start, but not quite all the way there. So I clicked on it, and that took me to a list of synonyms for confidence. Which is where I found the word courage and this little light bulb went off in my head.
Courage.
I need to make this year about having the courage to do the right thing, the necessary thing, the different thing, and sometimes even the thing that I don't want to do. I need to have boldness and braveness when it comes to making decisions about my life and my future. Right now this year is full of possibilities for me to be brave and opportunities for me to show courage.
Whether it's having the guts to take a blind leap of faith or just being confident enough to go through life with a purpose, I need to have the courage to do things and stuff and the like. I know there is a purpose for me and for my life, but I just haven't found it yet. So let this year be about becoming a courageous person who lives life on purpose.
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