Monday, October 12, 2015

HEY - I DIDN'T FORGET ABOUT YOU

Hi there. Remember me? I used to run this joint once upon a time. I used to post a couple times a week, and now? Well, now it seems to have fallen into somewhat of a disarray around here. I mean, just look at these cobwebs. Sheeesh. Sorry about that.

Once I quit working at the juice bar, I threw myself into designing fabrics and applying to new and exciting places to employ me. It was fun times. I was also preparing to move across town, which just happened last Wednesday! I had forgotten what a pain moving is - all the heavy furniture down three flights of stairs, all the way across town, and then up three flights of stairs because that's just the way we roll 'round here.

But now I'm getting the new place all settled in to and it's starting to feel reeeaaal homey like. It even has a giant mirror wall, which if you know me in real life at all, is basically my favorite part of the place. So it's been really fun to get all the furniture just where I want it and get all the art hung up on the walls. It's not finished yet, and like any good project will never be completely finished, but it's getting close.

And in addition to my big move, I have a new job! I work with a local photographer as his studio manager. It has been one of the hardest new jobs I've ever taken on - a completely new experience. I've found it to be a little challenging to learn the ropes, but I'm starting to feel like I have a real handle on things. It's still got it's challenges, but I'm learning to love it instead of letting it overwhelm me.

It's just that my life is a little crazy these days - new place to live, new place to work, and a new season outside. It's kind of like everything I knew and all my routines I expected have changed 180 degrees. I'm still learning to adjust, but I think it's been really good for me. It's making me stretch and grow and so, that's a good thing. It keeps me moving forward.

And our big changes aren't really even over. But I think also that they never will be. I used to think, and I've written about it before, that life to me was this linear way of thinking. You finished one school and went on to the next one and then, in my head, you started working and that was sort of that about the whole thing. And it's taken me the last couple of years to really understand that my idea of how life worked was sort of really wrong. Life is linear, but also it really, really, isn't linear at all.

So my perspective has been forced to shift in different areas of my life. And the question I have been asking myself lately is where do I see my life going? In college our professors would have us write out our five year plans. In most of the interviews I've done I've been asked where I see myself in the future, and I always sort of bullshitted an answer. Mostly because what I want to say is married, fabulously rich, and traveling the world. And by fabulously rich what I mean is that my husband makes enough for me to stay home and not have to punch a time clock. But that sort of view is a little outdated and these days women are expected to be more than stay at home moms.

I have been forced to reconsider. And also, I spent money on a college degree, okay? So I can't let that just fall by the wayside because then why even did I go to a university? Riddle me that, batman. And so here I am. Contemplating my next few steps in life and how do I want to get there and who am I going to take with me?

Well, I'd be lying if I said that I didn't want to stay home. So in order to be able to do that, I need to have a job that will allow me to work from my house. I'd also like to have flexible hours so that I can take a trip to Italy if the mood strikes me. And it's not going to be like I'm going to be able to do that tomorrow, so I have to start putting in the work now in order to be able to get to that place in the future. Which, I mean, art is what I'd like to take me there.

Designing fabrics on Spoonflower is a fantastic start to this journey. I've said it before, but I'd really like to seriously put some effort into my sad state of an Etsy shop. And I'm going to look into what it would take to teach some art classes at a local creative little studio downtown.

It feels a little like reinventing myself. But it also feels like coming home. And so, I guess this is kind of what being an adult feels like. Weird.

1 comment:

  1. Man, I have missed your posts.

    That's so exciting about your new job and new place! Congratulations! I think it's great that you got a job that's (technically) nearer your field of interest: art :) "Studio manager" sounds like a great position.

    This post is so encouraging to me. As a senior in college, everything is becoming so...real and terrifying. I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing (I literally just Googled "jobs in Raleigh" the other day, trying to figure out what to do when I graduate... Clearly I am clueless) and kind of little confidence that I can do ANYTHING well XD You always give me hope that life can be managed.

    Sending thoughts and prayers your way! :)

    ~Stephanie

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