Have you ever felt like you spend a lot of time with someone, but you never really see them? Or that when you are together, it's never long enough? Or maybe like when you're with someone, and then they are making plans to meet with someone else you feel a little slighted? You're not mad, per se, but more like disappointed.
Today had high hopes.
I knew I wasn't going to see Princey a lot today because he and his friends had planned on watching scary movies tonight - and since I HATE being scared, I opted not to go. So I go pick up Prince Charming at his house around 1 o'clock for a picnic at the beach. We hike to a place on Tubbs Hill, set down a blanket, eat some food, talk, laugh, dip our feet in the ridiculously cold water, and have an all around good time. I know I have some chores that I need to finish up at home, but I'm not really in any hurry to go do them. Nevertheless, Prince and I pack up the stuff and make the hike back out to the car.
He hops in the front seat and whips out his cell phone. His friends are already altogether and without consulting me whatsoever he tells them he'll be there soon.
Thanks. I'm a taxi.
"Are you mad at me?" he asks as I drive toward the booth to exit the parking lot.
"No," I say. It's a half truth. I don't know whether or not I should feel mad yet. One of his very best friends is leaving soon - moving down to California for school - and I told Prince that he should spend some time with the friend before the big move. However, I'm the one that drove all the way out to Prince's house to go get him and was hoping for a little longer than a measily hour.
"Are you sure?" he always asks me this because sometimes when I am mad at him, I tell him not and try to get over it myself. I nod my head in affirmation.
But as the drive goes on, I think about it more and more. And I still don't think I'm angry, just really disappointed. I can understand that he wants to see his friends. I know he sees a lot of me. But still. It might have been his idea to have a picnic today, but I packed all the food, did all the driving and felt like I was having a good time out on our little rock we had claimed. And then as soon as its over he just wants to leave? How am I supposed to feel?
"Am I leaving you too soon?" He asks as we get farther down the road and I'm still silently manuvering the Yukon XL through our 'heavy' downtown traffic.
"A little," I admit honestly.
"You could have told me that," he says. I don't answer him, but instead just stare at the cars in front of me. But his sentence hangs around my head. I think about it over and over again. My mind wanders and then I come back to that sentence.
When? When could I have told him that? As soon as he got in the car that cell phone was to his ear. I didn't know who he was calling and why. I had no forshadowing of the conversation to come between him and his friends. Where was my warning?
I dropped him off at the said meeting place without so much as a kiss. He'll be with his friends. He'll have a good time. He'll forget about the situation...until he reads this. But I'm here, with chores still left to do, and it'll be my mind. And it won't leave.