FROM MISS TO MRS

Welllllll I'm really late posting about this, but I've had this feeling to write lately and so here we are.

First, I have to apologize for being such a terrible blogger this last year. I don't really have my own computer anymore, which means sharing the desktop but I hate blogger on it. I'd rather sit on the couch with a cup of tea or coffee and crank out a post from comfort rather than sitting upright in a computer chair. I mean, the desktop is lovely for photo editing and digital print making and playing mine craft, but after a while the chair screams at me to get up and my back is stiff and really, the couch is just my best pal when it comes to blogging. Anyway, all of that to say this: I'm blogging from iPad on the couch now so we should be back in business - but only time will tell for sure!

Second, ahe the part we've allllll been waiting for, I took a road trip this summer that probably changed my life.

Nathan and I loaded up the car Thursday after work and after double and triple checking that we had everything, we headed off to Portland - only a 7 hour drive - at like 4:30 in the afternoon. YOLO, amiright?

In Portland we hit up the Voodoo donuts (where this angry homeless man karate chopped the driving cones on the street like it was his job)  and I made friends with two impeccably dressed gay business men. Portland, you are definitely weird.

From there we booked it down to Oakland, California. That was the longest stretch our trip and in the future it would have been nice to break that up a little bit - but you live and you learn. Oakland/San Francisco was super fun though and we spent the entire day walking around the city. We saw Fishermans Wharf, charged our phones in a Starbucks in the financial district, ate lunch on the pier, had drinks at an Applebee's restaurant on the third floor of a building (the view!) and got distracted by the street performers causing us to missour ferry back to Oakland.

Leaving San Francisco, we headed down to Monterey. Everyone told us to go see Carmel By The Sea and check out the aquarium at Monterey bay. So once we got to Monterey we decided to check out Carmel first.

Carmel is pretty darn rad, I'll just say it. We parked on the street and just started walking through all the little boutiques. We walked in to a Lush store where all the ladies we super nice and informative. We ended up buying a Dragons Egg bath bomb because obviously. We wandered through some more shops and made our way down towards the sandy white beaches. It was absolutely beautiful at the beach.

We decided we were hungry and walked back into the little town to find a restaurant. Everything was pretty packed but we found this cute little restaurant that had fish tacos and I was sold. So we waited the 20 minutes for a table in the back corner and ordered our food.

The town has public restrooms so not a lot of places have their own bathrooms, we discovered. So Nathan excused himself to go find one near the restaurant. It seemed like he was gone forever and I was starting to wonder what had happened to him when our food was delivered to our table. So I finally shot him a quick text and a few seconds later he showed back up.

When I asked him what took so long he got this silly grin on his face and said, "I'll tell you later." Which should have been my first clue that something was up, but honestly I thought he was just talking about having found some neat little shop that he'd show me when we were done eating.

We finished our meal and walked some more around town before heading back to Monterey, where
we decided to see what the aquarium was all about. After finding a place to park that wasn't a million dollars for two hours, we headed towards the aquarium. You guys! The aquarium was $50 a person to get inside and just, holy buckets. At the beginning of the trip and for two not-so-rich people, we laughed and walked away. There were a bunch of cute little shops all around so we walked through those rifling through souvenirs trying to determine if there was anything we wanted.

Finally we walked into this restaurant for a drink on their veranda. The waiter was incredibly rude - when we told him was just wanted drinks and maybe an appetizer he told us we could just go sit at the bar all haughtily like we were taking up space in his precious section (which was most,y empty by the way). Having worked in the restaurant industry, I thought that was uncalled for. If your section is empty and your table just wants drinks and appetizers you smile and serve them because a smaller tip is better than no tip because of your empty table! Okay, so I'm not bitter at all, right? Right.

Anyway, after we left the restaurant, in a shocking turn of events and something completely unexxpected, we walked around the bay some more. My feet were getting tired and I was ready to go do a little bit of nothing for a while. We headed beck to the car and accidentally stumbled upon our hotel. So we checked in and found our room and tried to decide what to do next. I had brought a nice dress for a fancy night out, but Nathan forgot to pack nice clothes.

I offered to do something less fancy, but he was pretty adamant that tonight would be our fancy dinner night and we would just go pick out some clothes for him. This should have been clue number 2, but again, I was oblivious. If Nathan has a plan, he usually sticks to it (it's the INTJ personality he's got), and so we googled the nearest Ross Dress For Less and picked him out some dress clothes and shoes.

Before we headed back to the hotel, Nathan wanted to walk down the beach one more time. It was a beautiful day and tomorrow we were heading to Santa Barbara, so it was now or never. I begrudgingly agreed, because I like the sandy beaches but my feet were sooooo beyond tired of walking everywhere. Nathan found a place to park and we hiked over the hill to the beach. And you guys, it did not disappoint.

There were a few people down on the beach and Nathan suggested we walk down towards the part where no one had already taken residence. This should have been clue 3, but both of us being introverts it didn't surprise me that he wanted to get away from the people.

We passed a couple making out on a blanket. Nathan made some comment about them and retorted telling Nathan to be nice, they probably just got engaged. We laughed and walked farther down the beach. My feet hurt and I was ready to go back to the hotel, so I stopped walking to take in the gorgeous view. I had just placed my hand over my eyes in a cover from the sunshine to watch the cerulean blue waves splash against the shore when I hear from behind me, "hey, Natalie," so I whirl around and there's Nathan down on one knee!

Before he says anything, I'm thinking this has got to be a joke. I literally just made fun of that couple and I figured this sucker'a gonna be tying his shoe!

But instead he says the sweetest words, "I can't imagine my life without you, will you marry me?" And you guys, it's like I went into some sort of tunnel vision. It was hard for me to get the word out as I nodded and smiled, because I wanted to say "yes" and "it's about damn time!" at the same time.

He placed the most beautiful ring on finger and from there I heard the words he was saying but it was hard for me to actually listen because I JUST SAID YES TO A BOY. YES TO MARRYING A BOY!! We took a few pictures and I tried to get one of my ring with the waves in the background but they all came out blurry.

As we walked back toward the car to head back to our hotel and get ready for our fancy and now celebratory dinner, he told me about how at lunch in Carmel he had actually called my dad. We talked about who to call first and who to text verses who to call and who to tell before we announced on facebook and all those super important details.

He also revealed to me that my ring had actually belonged to his great-grandmother and was a family heirloom. The best part is that we didn't have to get it resized - it fit perfectly. Which to me just means it was meant to be.

We went to the hotel to get ready for our fancy fancy dinner. Nathan picked a good restaurant where they had this dish - a bacon chop (it's a slab of bacon cooked like a steak) and they served it over a pepper jack baked mac n cheese brick and it was probably the best thing I've ever eaten.

And that's the story about how I became the future Mrs. Nathan!

ON BEING AN INTROVERT

Introverts are an interesting bunch, I tell you what. They super are.

This weekend Nathan and I tried to adventure into ULTA - a beauty supply shop - on Saturday. I feel as though this is something that a normal girl would be over the moon about! Yay! My man is buying me some makeup! The possibilities are endless!

But instead, I walked in trailing behind Nathan - immediately overwhelmed by the sheer volume of products. If you know anything about me, you know that a makeup guru I am not! I looked around at all the aisles and my mind went blank.

Why was I even there? What did I need? Who did I think I was, walking into that store knowing almost nothing about make up!?

You'd think, maybe, that since I am an artist I would be all about the makeups. However, as much as I would love to learn more about make up, it's really not something I'm super passionate about. I like to cover up my red spots and even out my skin tone, and I do like a good smokey eye - but when it comes to types of products and differing brands, I am at a total loss.

But these types of places offer consultations of sorts to try out different looks and products to see what you like and what looks good on your skin tone. This is a cool service, but somehow I don't know how to go about asking for it. I hate feeling like I'm imposing on someone, or being demanding. So, I freaked a little bit.

I didn't know what I was doing in that store. I felt so totally out of place and it made me feel ridiculously uncomfortable. I just wanted to leave, but I tried to look around anyway and see if there was anything that spoke to me.

After what felt like an eternity of aimlessly wandering around different aisles, (it was probably only maybe five to seven minutes) a saleslady with a fabulous purple shade of lipstick asked if I needed help with anything. She was very nice and asked me if I could help even to narrow down what I wanted, but I panicked. I couldn't think of anything. I didn't have a game plan, I didn't know what I wanted, and I really just wished I could turn invisible or bolt out of the store.

But instead I just whined that I really had no idea what I was even doing there like a child. It was definitely not one of my finer moments. These are the things that happen when I go out in public unprepared to deal with people. Or, more realistically, having dealt with too many people that weekend already and I was just all peopled out.

I mean, normally I handle myself pretty darn well in public. So well that sometimes people say things like "you're an introvert? really?" As if introverts aren't allowed to have well developed social skills or like being around people.

I can do people. I can do crowds. They're not my favorite and I can't do them for long periods of time, but I can be in public and not be the weird girl in the corner. I promise, introverts can be people persons too. But it only lasts for so long.

But back to my story. The purple lipstick clad saleslady took my attitude like a champ. She gave me her card and said that when I was ready, I could give her a call and we would play.

And then I went and sat in the car with Nathan for a while before regaining my composure enough to go into more stores before ultimately heading home and staying in my apartment the rest of the day to avoid any more people, like a true introvert. 

RESURRECTION

Dudes,

Here I am. Again. I couldn't stay away. I need an outlet and cutting myself off from the blog was probably one of my dumber ideas.

I mean, I needed the break and to relieve the pressure, but I can't stay away.

You can't get rid of me that easily, internet.

So, here I am. For whenever the mood strikes and the words flow.

It's good to be home.

xoxo

I'M CALLING IT

It's been a good run, folks. We've had 8 years together, can you believe it? But I think, it's time for me to move on. I haven't been a good and faithful blogger lately and I think that means that for me, it's time to start over.

I've dabbled with the idea of just starting a completely new blog, so you might look for that in the future. But for now, I'm taking away the guilt of never posting anymore and simply just signing off.

Have a fantastic life, kids. I'll see ya on the other side.

ON BEING AN ADULT

I was in the shower the other morning and having incredibly deep and philosophical thoughts, like you do, and I was thinking about adulthood.

Adulthood and I have had a very interesting relationship. I used to think being an adult was the dumbest thing I'd ever done. And slowly I adjusted to thinking that maybe being an adult wasn't actually that dumb after all...and then I lost my job and went right back to thinking being an adult is completely stupid.

But you know what? It's not really. I got a new job. I was able to pay my bills. I didn't end up living in an old refrigerator box in the back alley of somewhere, as is my worst fear, and life kept going. Life didn't suddenly stop and turn completely on its head like I'd always imagined it would if something catastrophic happened to me.

It's a weird thing about life, how it just keeps marching forward. I know that when I was little I knew this, but I didn't really comprehend it until I was much, much older. I used to think if something went wrong that that was just the end of it. That there was no coming back from that, it was just over. You missed out. You lost. Time to head another direction. And really, that isn't the case. I'm so glad I know that now, but I'm still not sure why I didn't really grasp that then, you know?

Whatever.

So anyway, back to my shower thoughts. Because that's what we're here to talk about anyway, right? Right.

I was washing my hair underneath the steaming hot water in which I have to be surrounded by or else I somehow feel...cold. And as I lathered the suds into my scalp, it occurred to me that I am not really a real adult. Because occasionally I still feel like I'm just a little girl playing pretend at the adult thing. Sometimes I find myself in situations where people think I'm this grown woman, when really I feel like a six year old flailing around down inside me screaming "I'm too young for this!"

And you know what's crazy? I'm not a little six year old girl. I'm actually a pretty well adjusted adult...but then again, fake it until you make it, right? I wonder if I will ever feel like an actual adult and not like a little girl at a masquerade ball.

I'm sure that as time goes on, I'll feel like a more adultier adult, but I guess that just like all things in life, it just takes practice. And then I read Stephanie's blog post about being the one that actually makes your dreams happen and my mind exploded.

You see, even if I am just a little girl pretending to be an adult, I still get to do all the things I want to do. Talking to Nathan, our plans for the future seem crazy to me still. Like, am I really old enough to talk about buying a house? Am I really old enough to move across the country if I wanted to? Am I really old enough to get married and travel and do all of the things that Little Natalie dreamed for Big Natalie to accomplish?

And the craziest part is that I totally am. I am able to make these things happen. I just have to be willing to put in the work and file the papers and do whatever else it is I need to do to make things happen. I tend to let myself get overwhelmed, but if I just take it one step at a time, before I know it, when I look back at my life, all the things I want to do get done.

And that is what I love so much about being an adult. It's more than just making my own bedtime and prioritizing my budget so that I can pay rent. It's the fact that I get to make my own dreams come true. I am the master of my fate - in a manner of speaking.

Plus, to have a partner that has the same goals and plans for the future that I do, it just makes me more excited to keep going. So, yay for being an adult and things. Yay! Confetti! I can do whatever I want!